Saturday, December 18, 2010

I'm Only Sleeping

So I woke up in the middle of the night and realized I was dying of a heart attack. Or at least that's what I told myself was happening. I was paralyzed and my entire body felt like it was charged with electricity. It wasn't unpleasant, it fact it was rather psychedelic; my eyes were closed and I was watching an interesting kind of internal light show. I wasn't afraid that I was dying, but I was upset I couldn't wake up my wife and say goodbye to her. And then I woke up and sat up. Still very much alive and well.

I was processing the experience throughout the day. If it was a dream, I know what it was about. But at the same time the visuals and the electric feeling made me feel as if I was on the receiving end of some strange kind of energy download. It hasn't happened in a while but I used to get this bizarre kind of vibrating feeling in the center of my forehead (yes, right around the pineal gland). I used to tell my wife I was "downloading" when it would happen.

Contrary to urban legend, I've died plenty of times in my dreams and I'm here blathering on about it right now. I don't try to interpret these dreams, since they're based (ultimately) in an actual event from my early childhood. I don't know if I was dreaming or what last night, but I find it interesting my reaction was regret and not fear.

The point of this all is that talk about the unconscious or the dreaming mind tends to get very vague and nebulous in some circles. Which is kind of irritating to me since I've had some pretty memorable adventures inside my head. Maybe it's because those adventures are hard to share.

But one thing that did strike me today was last night's experience reminded me of a lot of accounts of alien abduction that I've read. Go figure.