Saturday, December 18, 2010

I'm Only Sleeping

So I woke up in the middle of the night and realized I was dying of a heart attack. Or at least that's what I told myself was happening. I was paralyzed and my entire body felt like it was charged with electricity. It wasn't unpleasant, it fact it was rather psychedelic; my eyes were closed and I was watching an interesting kind of internal light show. I wasn't afraid that I was dying, but I was upset I couldn't wake up my wife and say goodbye to her. And then I woke up and sat up. Still very much alive and well.

I was processing the experience throughout the day. If it was a dream, I know what it was about. But at the same time the visuals and the electric feeling made me feel as if I was on the receiving end of some strange kind of energy download. It hasn't happened in a while but I used to get this bizarre kind of vibrating feeling in the center of my forehead (yes, right around the pineal gland). I used to tell my wife I was "downloading" when it would happen.

Contrary to urban legend, I've died plenty of times in my dreams and I'm here blathering on about it right now. I don't try to interpret these dreams, since they're based (ultimately) in an actual event from my early childhood. I don't know if I was dreaming or what last night, but I find it interesting my reaction was regret and not fear.

The point of this all is that talk about the unconscious or the dreaming mind tends to get very vague and nebulous in some circles. Which is kind of irritating to me since I've had some pretty memorable adventures inside my head. Maybe it's because those adventures are hard to share.

But one thing that did strike me today was last night's experience reminded me of a lot of accounts of alien abduction that I've read. Go figure.


  1. Oh yes Christopher. Sounds like a Nine experience to moi. Nine? Cutting edge. :)

  2. Downloading in a mysterious dream state and then blogging about it? You and me both, brother.

    Here's my take on it, with a self protrait cartoon.

    - LINK -

  3. Hi Chris,

    I experience these weird states while sleeping, or trying to sleep, quite often.

    It almost always starts with a feeling of falling, or a feeling of a presence with me in the room, but I guess this a projection of my fear. This is when I get paralyzed and can't do anything but breath slowly. I've read about this "sleep paralysis" condition that is recognized somewhat by science just as some weird brain state. But I think there's more to it.

    Then I start hearing this buzzing in my hears. Sometimes I feel there's some kind of big electric bug flying around my room. I also hear lots of times strong noises like thunders or horns. When I was a kid I felt also besides this, some kind of pressure on my body like someone was touching me or pressing against my back.

    Then I start feeling this electric feeling in my body. Most of the times the experience stops here because of my fear. But when I let go of fear and go with the flow, I get to experience an out-of-body state, where I can walk around the house, run through walls, etc. But I never can get into the street, or fly. Whenever I try it the experience just ends and I get into my body again, or sometimes it seems the experience morphs into a dream where everything turns crazy.

    I once had one of these experiences but could not get out of the body. But I could see things differently. It felt like it was "astral vision" I don't know. But I felt someone in the room. I looked at my window and saw a grey alien standing there in the room looking at me. I panicked, but could not do much, I was paralyzed. It then started to float in my direction, or walking without moving it's feet. As he aproached me I grabed his head and put my thumbs in his eyes, as I screamed then I was back into my body scared as hell, I looked to the windows and all around me and there was nothing there.

    Don't know it it was a dream. If it was it seemed pretty real or at least different from regular dreams. Lot's of weird things happens sometimes during sleep.

    But these Grey alien theme sometimes appears in my dreams. When this happens I can't help but feel this uncanny feeling of weirdness and some attraction to these visions. Can't explain it with words.

    Thanks for sharing your experience.

  4. I too have died in my dreams before; when I was fourteen or so I dreamed that I leaped off of my roof and impaled myself accidentally on an antenna post, bled out, after which my house was transformed into a giant temple-throne and I became a judge of the dead suspiciously like Yama (whom I had not been exposed to at that point). Also, more recently, twice now I've woken up in the middle of the night, and before becoming fully conscious, have been seeing and experiencing life as something similar to computer code and logic trees for a few minutes without realizing it until after the fact.
    My general dream life is sequential, in that I go to sleep here and wake up there in certain different identities.

  5. Sounds like you have a life
    in the Spirit. A scientist
    might say your electro-magnetic
    field was debugging or doing
    a re-boot...or something.

    I once had experiences for
    years where an electrical
    charge would explode in my
    head...I thought this was
    substance abuse but it
    happens sometimes now that
    I am sober.

    What you and commenters
    describe might be a type
    of stage in ,"Kundalini",
    awakening...or deepening
    into the Holy Spirit for
    those of us who love Christ.

    Thankfully we can discuss
    these things without being
    burned by inquisitors.

  6. Wow, I hope you are ok.

  7. I've had 2 experiences with "sleep paralysis" over the past 6 months that scared the shit out of me.
    I'm still not sure what to make of them, and no clinical explanation can sum it all up for me.

  8. I had the exact experience (except in the extreme) two years ago and it changed my life forever. Laying in bed just after nodding off, then suddenly vibrating electricity throughout my body-- I thought maybe I had been struck by lightening through the window-- I couldn't move I was just laying there... it wasn't entirely unpleasant... then it finally exploded into this giant white-blue light. Crazy right? I've read up on it since and have come to the provisional conclusion that it is related to Kundalini energy (a word I had never heard of before the experience).

    I've had similar experiences since then, but none as major. I know one thing for a fact-- it wasn't a dream. An altered state of consciousness perhaps, but not a dream as we know it.

  9. I have always heard that those experiences are related to the beginnings of an out of body experience (astral projections) or remote viewing.

    My friend use to call it a Ghost Attack as she felt something was holding her down.

    I've had a couple of those myself but not in recent years.

  10. Song- Nine experience? Plz elaborate!

    C!- Oh, you've been a terrible influence on me. No two ways about that.

    Goat- Very powerful stuff there. Have you been in touch with Mike (see above)?

    Mao- Very active unconscious lives on this blog. Not surprised at all.

    Pete- Well, for the time being at least. Fantastic feedback here, kids.

    Liza- I'd heartily recommend not looking in the clinical realm for explanation.

    Anony- It did not feel like a dream at all. It felt like I woke, sensed that my heart stopped and then felt this intense electrical feeling all over. Glad to see I'm not alone!

    Bliss- Well, I'll be on the lookout for those types of experiences, you can count on it.

  11. Glad you made it back to us! Like you and some of the commenters here, I had the exact same experience earlier this year when I was yanked out of the early stages of sleep (non-dream state, as far as I recall) by an electric "buzz" that amplified to the point where even my teeth, but for a moment, clamped and rattled. I seem to remember actually hearing a high-pitched tone as it reached the tip of its crescendo (as if I had been zapped by a raygun, seriously), but the larger physical effects were more profound: my heart, based on the sensations in my chest, had stopped beating. For the next frenzied moments, I could feel it "gasping" for blood flow, eventually leveling into steady, forceful palpitations.

    My initial assessment was that I had indeed narrowly averted a full-on heart attack, and that perhaps it had been caused by an awkward sleeping position cutting off my circulation. (I looked around the room to see if I had actually been shocked by a stray wire or something, so severe was the feeling coursing through me.) I don't know if such a thing really happens, physiologically, but it was almost as if my body had harnessed its own electrical current to shock me back from the brink.

    I would have left it at that had I not drifted back into what ended up as one of the most vivid dreams I have had in recent memory (short of the actual lucid dreams I have experienced since keeping a dream journal and working with various techniques). I won't bore you with the plot of it, which becomes rather mundane and more on a personal level for me, but I will say I was startled to see this odd "buzz" re-emerge in an intricate mental lacework of images and ideas: my head leaning on an airplane window, observing honey bees, cell phones buzzing off to was all pulsating with a strange energy, to say the least. I've been thinking about it all year.

  12. "It did not feel like a dream at all. It felt like I woke, sensed that my heart stopped and then felt this intense electrical feeling all over."

    Yea, that's basically the same sequence I had. Felt like electricity shooting through the top of my head and then all through my body. Intense vibrating. Lots of light. Profoundly weird yet kinda beautiful.

  13. PS-- After I had that initial experience I started having what I believe are out-of-body experiences. A couple of times the buzzing started and I just went with it instead of panicking (not as easy as it sounds) and found myself floating near the ceiling. This has happened several times and I always try to go farther but can never get past the ceiling before zapping back into my body.

    By the way, I realize how insane this sounds. If it hadn't happened to me I probably wouldn't believe it.

  14. Try I think they had an article about sleep paralysis not to long ago that you might find helpful.Are you a lucid dreamer? Perhaps that can explain the sensations you were experiencing.

  15. Sleep and death intertwined? Sounds like the journey of Osiris.

    Osiris, God of the Nile, murdered and torn to pieces by Seth, the God of the Desert. Isis finds the body, mummifies it and mourns. Osiris sojourns in the Netherworld in a state of unconsciousness and powerlessness, also known as the Great Sleep. Horus avenges his father, losing his left eye. Horus goes to the Netherworld and restores the life force of his father.

    Osiris rises in the Netherworld, awakened by the Eye of Horus. Osiris' soul is set in motion and he becomes the spirit of life, growth, fertility, resurrection & rebirth. The return of Osiris and Horus brings the flooding of the Nile. This flood associated with the heliacal rising of Sirius.

    And let us not forget the Hand of Osiris, connected with the Constellation Orion, the star Sirius and the mythical star gates.

    The Galactic Center passes just above the Orion Belt and it is said that there would be some sort of gateway there. The Egyptians depict Osiris (O Sirius) with a Silver Gate just above his hand. These so called gates could be black holes or even worm holes.

    An ancient myth combining sleep, Gods, resurrection, floods, deserts, wounded eyes, hands, space travel, and worms. Or if you prefer the Hollywood version...

  16. I think the first time I had an experience anything like that I was years ago, when I was a teenager, it's happened several times since, at first I was convinced there was some kind of ghost moving about the house because of the energy that I felt with it. It's been a very spiritual (or ghost like) type of energy.

    Some people say it's due to your body waking up before your mind does, but I'm not so sure about that, because I've found it's happened after I've woken up startled and sat up in bed wide eyed, and seen a cluster of small brightly coloured lights moving like a gust of wind.

    Doctors I've talked to about it haven't been able to explain it at all.

    I've only just recently discovered the astral body theories and they sound quite convincing. I get the feeling it's an energy of some description.

  17. Kundalini is an even more convincing hypothesis.

  18. Hello Chris, this most definitely sounds like kundalini awakening. This happened to me in the spring last year, except with visions of snakes going up my spine. I am now dealing with this phenomena on a daily basis. If things get stranger I may be able to give advice. Jared

  19. Wow- this post seems to have struck a chord. People have been writing me o Facebook sharing similar experiences. More common than I would have thought. It's interesting that I wasn't thinking about aliens or Kundalini, I was thinking "shit, I'm dying and I can't move." This has been a strange year, what with this and the weird encounter over the summer and the weird aerial maneuvers I saw a few weeks back. All very odd, all very much out of the blue. I guess that's how these things happen- suddenly and without warning.

    Strangely enough I do feel quite different these past two days. Strangely serene, which is entirely inappropriate.

  20. I have had this type of experience only once. But I remember that I was on my stomach, and waking up to a feeling of tingling or vibration, and I felt very, very good. I was paralyzed during the encounter & The more I tried to move, the better the vibration became or the intense feeling of euphoria I was "downloading". I am on your level, I get it, I think there are also ET connotations & I would not know which direction to go with that. Maybe this is the process of an "invasion" of sorts? And if we are unable to react or move during this process, we have to figure out a way to shield ourselves from these entities... The more I learn about Feng Shui, the more changes I see personally, Find out your Kau number, and shift your bed according to your Kau. My corner is East, so my head lays facing the East. Saging your place might be a good form of defense, also sprinkling sea salt behind and under your bed is also good.


  21. Hey Chris,

    This post and its comments are very cool. I've had a lot of weird experiences, but I haven't had an experience of 'sleep paralysis' like the ones described here. I can only imagine what it must be like.

    I suspect though that a death-ressurection-rebirth vibe is pretty significant here, as one of the comments above mentions in connection with Osiris.

    Also, a very poetic and humorous and disturbing title for your post. I'm only sleeping. I like it. "Why aren't you more afraid?" asked the prison guard. "Because I'm only sleeping," replied the prisoner. Ok, excuse my indulgence.

    Anyway, apart from my automatic writing experiences, I've experienced something else that feels like downloading. It usually starts with a weird feeling of expectancy , seemingly from nowhere, and then sooner or later my being is flooded with this feeling of intensity and potency and speed.

    It switches from this expectant state to this super-charged ramped-up feeling in a flash. Even though I'm expectant I never know when it's gonna hit. It's like my brain is suddenly proccessing stuff WAY faster, like power is boiling over out of everthing I focus my attention on. When I hear my own voice or other peoples voices in this state it sounds SO fast, but I can still follow it.

    Mostly these experiences are awesome, like drugs without the drugs, but sometimes they're unnerving because it can get SO overwhelming, like my spirit is vibrating too fast and it's my body that can't keep up.

    It definitely feels external though, like I'm catching a rogue signal from somewhere, or picking up on something in the air. That's why I liken it to downloading. I've had other spooky situations that feel far more internally-generated.

    I don't know what these experiences literally are though, so I try not to get too rigid about what I THINK I know, yet I try to stay open to my intuition.

    Just thought I'd share that with you. Keep up the awesomeness, dude.


  22. Chris, your blog has some black ops militant fundemental xtians gunning for your soul-or not. Some energy's can be directed from electrical devices. Your cell phone or receiver or what not could be disrupting your brain waves while asleep. Have you had any tv repairmen around lately? Odd people hanging around asking stupid questions? Perhaps you are targeted by an xtian hit squad wanting to turn your mind into peanut butter. Vigilance and awareness are key. The inquisition is still alive in this black iron prison. Dental work lately? Mostly in fun, Dennis.

  23. Chris, as I read your description, the very first thing I thought was, "This is a spontaneous kundalini awakening". About twenty years ago I was invited to a conference on the transformative effects of paranormal experiences by a doctor I had spoken to about about some repeated UFO experiences. But it turned out a presentation by another doctor was the more riveting for me. And when I spoke to her later and described how what she had talked about had mirrored some other experiences of mine that I had been too afraid to ever talk about, she had no hesitation to diagnose my experience then as a Spontaneous Kundalini Awakening. When these things happened to me, I had no framework or terms of reference for what was happening, so it was to me a negative and frightening thing.
    You, on the other hand should be in a place where you can effect some control or direction over the experience and gain from it.

    Good Luck sir.

  24. It's interesting that I wasn't thinking about aliens or Kundalini, I was thinking "shit, I'm dying and I can't move."

    Experiencing multiversiplicity my friend, i.e., experiencing two places at once until the quantum wave function (consciousness) collapsed into this Universe.

    There's a very good possibility a version of you did experience a heart attack and died.

    I've had this event three different times.

  25. Again, cheers for all of the feedback here. You've given me a lot to chew on- I'll be digging into some of your suggestions for sure- I always have my eye out for potential transformative opportunities, to put it a bit vulgarly...

  26. I know what you mean about the electrical feeling, I've experienced it too.

    Some years ago I had a series of dream encounters with, for lack of a better term, "alien" craft. These encounters were like dreams-that-weren't-dreams, in the sense that they felt like something OTHER and more real.

    After some of these encounters had finished and I woke up (after having various kinds of contact with the craft) and experienced what felt like electrical current being passed through my body. Very similar to what you describe.

  27. This year i had around 5-7 times something like sleep paralysis. It usually comes when i am extreme tired, but push myself to stay awake. The first times i felt like hypnotized (unable to move) then i start to get auditory hallucinations + the feel of an entitiy in my room, electric buzzing everywhere in my body, feeling of leviation, colorful visuals.
    The first times where frightening, especially when i realized i couldn't control my breathing. But since then i slowly start to like it.

  28. There's a very good possibility a version of you did experience a heart attack and died.

    I think that's true in a sense. I experienced it once when I had a car accident. You may have jumped to a parallel timeline where you were not having a heart attack because you chose not to die at that time.

    One time two weeks ago and twice this week I woke up thinking I heard some talking or calling my name. But of course, no one was there. The last time I was able to catch a little more of the conversation before I snapped awake. The voice said someting about using the number 22.

    Also, I've been getting the "electric buzz" in my ear for the past few days (usually around 6-7pm EST). To me, it feels like my ear is popping from altitude pressure and I can hear a very low sound (kinda like the Emergency Broadcast System sound but quieter).

  29. Interesting experience. Reminds me of your FBook status about your cat staring at you while you are asleep. I instantly thought it was looking at portals that were opening and/or closing above/around you.

    Ps - Do you know term 'tickling the ant?'. I think that is what is happening to your brow area, but could be wrong.


  30. Did you ever suffer from a migraine?

    ...because it sounds like you woke up with a very severe migraine.

    From the Mayo Clinic website:

    Some people who get migraines also experience a variety of mostly visual sensations that come before or accompany the pain of a migraine attack — a condition called migraine with aura.

    Most often, a migraine with aura is characterized by visual disturbances such as flashes of light, zigzagging patterns or even blind spots. However, a migraine with aura may also be accompanied by other sensations, such as numbness or tingling in parts of your body and speech problems.

  31. Sounds to me like you were experiencing the first stage of "astral travel". Your body at first feels afraid of "dying" but the the "reality" is most likely that your astral body was leaving your physical body and you were conciously aware of it. I have had a few of the same experiences and felt the parlysis and fear that comes with it... just haven't been able, yet, to do so on purpose and continued on with the process of leaving the body. One can train oneself to do this conciously and with regularity if one so chooses, it just takes practice. It seems like you just "accidentally" came to awareness as this was happening. Check into Robert Monroe. Happy Journeys!

  32. A “Nine experience” is a suprasensible experience which reveals what is a "norm" for future humanity.