Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Fallen, Fallen is Mystery Babylon the Kate


So I wasn't hallucinating; just as with the new Justin Timberlake video, the rest of the world seems to share my opinions of the Grammys; it was the lowest-rated broadcast for the show ever. 

I know it's hard to believe but ordinary folks really don't enjoy having pampered aristocrats and multimillionaire hedonists tell them how horrible they all are for three hours. I know, I know, it's awful. I blame Russia.

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

"These are the Names of the Vegas Who Watch..."



The Phylax phugazi continues to grow more ridiculous by the day. No one can seem to get their stories straight. 

First it was the Golden Dawn who pulled the Watcher off his Pedestal of Veneration, then it was changed to "far-rightists" when someone informed the hapless authorities that the Golden Dawn are actually anti-Christian neopagans. 

Sounds like a psyop run by Sterling Archer.

Monday, January 22, 2018

Stunning! PhilaeDelphi Vegas Go to Super Bowl! Surprising!

Seventeen!

In a stroke of improbability so improbabilistic it has shaken the very foundations of Probabilism itself, the PhilaeDelphi Vegas beat the Twinesota Vikings and will be squaring off against Twin Brady and his New Atlantis Baphomets!



Saturday, January 20, 2018

Go Home, Alternate Reality Construct. You're Apocalyptic.





I know what you're thinking-- is this a headline from 2009? Sadly, no. 

Yes, under normal circumstances, this nonsense would be as newsworthy as a Paris Hilton sextape but normal circumstances called in sick this year. 2017 is covering for them. 

So if you're still nostalgic for 2017, dig those fidget-spinners and pussy-hats out of the attic because there's loads more 2017 on the way.  

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Mermaid Apocalypse: Social Engineering through Memetic Overkill


 A lot of people have asked me over the past ten years how you can tell if a symbol-set is circulating through the culture through synchronistic means as opposed to being injected into the culture by conscious design. 

My answer has always been that if a symbol or meme is popping up at weird intervals and no one is paying much attention to it, then it's probably synchronicity.

On the other hand, if you're constantly getting hammered in the face with a symbol or meme, and it's the same goddamn note being struck over and over again, then that's a campaign.


Wednesday, January 03, 2018

New Normal Updates: Dementia Helmets


ITEM! YouTube superstar Logan Paul brought the wrath of the Twitter Furies down on his head when he posted a video of he and his bros stumbling on a corpse in Japan's notorious "Suicide Forest," aka the Aokigahara.

What exactly was he expecting to find there?