Oh no. Oh fuck. It’s really happening, isn’t it? The Cocteau Twins tried to warn us all along, but we were too foolish, and now it’s far too late. Ever since we translated their nonsense language into English, all of the insane bullshit that’s been happening lately finally makes sense. They tried to warn us and we didn’t listen. God, how could we be so blind?

It all seemed so innocent, those dreamy pop vocals and catchy hooks, we didn’t even question why they mostly sang in gibberish. How could we have known that ‘Cherry-coloured Funk’ was warning us against the geopolitical climate that led to 9/11? The whole thing was laid out step by step for us. They named Bin-Laden personally for Christ’s sake!