It's 2017 and it's the 300th Anniversary of the establishment of the Grand Lodge of England. In public, Freemasons will swear up and down that the Craft was created out of whole cloth on that day but amongst themselves will reveal that it is in fact much, much older.
During their massive birthday party in London last week the Masons freely admit that Freemasonry dates back to Euclid, at the very least. At another point, one Mason admits it's older than the "Golden Fleece and the Roman Eagle," or words to that effect. Of course, it actually dates back to Sumer, but that's a topic for another day.
Odd though that they threw this birthday gala on Halloween, rather than on St. John's Day (aka the Midsummer Fires). Don't you agree?
The Grand Lodge really goes balls out for this event, hiring a large cast of actors for a quintessentially Masonic Mystery Play in which a young stonemason is initiated into the Craft.
An orchestra provides the back for a variety of musical productions, with singers performing the works of Masonic composers like Mozart, Gilbert & Sullivan and Cab Calloway.
The Duke of Kent presides over the entire shindig, nursing an intractably dour countenance. British acting legend Derek Jacobi plays a central role along with a bunch of other people I recognize but can't quite place.
The stage set is like a scene from Bill Cooper's worst DTs. Again, do note this is all presided over by a member of the Royal Family. There are all kinds of attempts at comedy here but nobody's kidding or fooling around here.
No, this is deadly serious business.
We also have these three actresses playing the Three Graces aka the Charities, or more accurately the Three Sisters of Orion's Belt. Here holds another clue as to the true antiquity of Freemasonry, as the Three Graces were also featured in the Mystery Plays at Eleusis.
And sometime later we see the harp, representing Lyra and, of course, the Vegas.
And despite all the talk you hear about Freemasonry being in decline- well, public Masonry, at least-- the joint is packed to the rafters with Brothers. It all plays out like a tape loop of an old Alan Moore hallucination.
And the musical numbers are... interesting.
A twittering soprano performs a number from The Magic Flute. Two numbers are performed from The Mikado, including a rather, um, odd number for the Three Graces to sing:
Three little maids from school are we
Pert as a school-girl well can be
Filled to the brim with girlish glee
Three little maids from school
Everything is a source of fun
Nobody's safe, for we care for none
Life is a joke that's just begun
Three little maids from school
Huh. Interesting choice. Yeah. Really in tune with current sensibilities there, Freemies.
Then there's this one from the same play, rewritten as a list of fellow Masons to, uh, be...how do I say this?
Um, to be killed.
As some day it may happen that a victim must be found
I've got a little list — I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground
And who never would be missed — who never would be missed!
"They never would be missed." Right.
Bear in mind this song is repurposed as an ostensible comedy about doing away with fellow Masons the orator finds irritating.
What exactly do you think this guy thinks of you?
Let's just say I couldn't help but think of the Millennium episode named in honor of The Mikado, about an Internet site that streams live video of young women being tied up and murdered.
Kind of an unfortunate association there.
I suppose that the song is meant to be funny, but seeing as that it's 2017 and all, it just comes across as incredibly creepy and unsettling.
There's also this little performance in which the Masons brag about their contributions to America. There's also this little bit of Masonic double entendre.
"Astronauts are not." Interesting.
To add to the jarring symbolism an actor portrays Cab Calloway and performs "Minnie the Moocher," a song about a heroin-addicted prostitute. This is an incredibly audacious bit of trolling, given how central British Freemasonry was to the opium trade (and the Opium Wars). This isn't some LaRouchian bit of speculation here- Masons are quite open about it.
Note: The family behind the modern Opioid Wars-- the Sacklers-- certainly appear to either be Crypto-Masons or somehow adjacent, given their overweening fixation on Egyptian antiquities.
But if any of this reminds you of the Oscars, the Grammys or even the N-ph-L ritual productions, well, yeah. Now you can see where it all actually comes from.
There's also a little psychodrama in which a Muslim, a Christian and a Jew act out some Masonic parable in which a father gives his three sons copy of a precious ring and all it does it create discord and calamity.
In case you miss the point of this little parable here- which is cloaked in all the subtlety of a series of hammer blows to your teeth-- the Masons are telling us they are in receipt of the true religion and would like very much to replace all the others.
For starters.
And replace all the others with "The Light."
Look at those faces and tell me that these are people who are just fucking around.
And then the Masons all rise for a hearty singing of "Jerusalem," the musical version of the Blake poem. Which reminded me that the Nephilim lovefest men call the Millenium Dome Show was in fact based in part on Blake's Marriage of Heaven and Hell.
So why was this all held on Halloween rather than on Freemasonry's actual birthday in June? I'm afraid I can't answer that but I should note this was held at Royal Albert Hall in Kensington Gardens where Our Lady of Oracles appeared in July, to celebrate the start of Leo and the rising of the Shield.
I'd been wracking my brains trying to figure out the purpose for that otherwise-inexplicable event but now I understand: it was yet another example of using Our Lady to consecrate a larger working.
I've actually lost count of how many times we've seen that now.
UPDATE: BBC pushes Freemasonry for Women.
UPDATE: BBC pushes Freemasonry for Women.