Thursday, March 21, 2019

Trailer Trash: Belial, Baphomet, Betty and Veronica

OK, this looks...ungood. 

I'm holding out hope that the actual series will be double-plus-good, but this trailer is not filling my heart with warm waves of optimism and anticipation. The first series was so interesting because it 
always seemed like it was perched on the precipice of batshit insanity and could fall off at any moment. 

This just looks kind of dull and ordinary.

Um, OK. Interesting, I guess.

The second Stranger Things was triple-plus-terrible, but this is firmly stradding the good-ungood frontier. I try to be optimistic, so I'll assume they got all the ungoodness out of their systems and want to entertain me again. The kids do seem to be hitting that awkward age, though. It happens.

More Satanic recruitment propaganda. Demonic children, death and blood, human sacrifice, underage orgies, Belial, Baphomet, Balaam, Betty and Veronica. I'll stick with Samantha Stevens, if it's all the same to you.

This looks bloody awful. Not to mention vaguely... well, you know what I mean. You're thinking it, too.

This little swagbag of Crypto-Thelemic predictive-programming went live a few weeks back and it looks stupid and terrible. But I may end up watching some of it anyway, seeing how there's a bunch of familiar faces from The X-Files and various Vancouver videographic victuals. 

I'm pathologically obsessive. Sue me.

Producer: I have a great idea for a movie. Superboy, only evil! 
Studio Exec: So what's your idea then?
Producer: That's it! Superboy, only evil.
Studio Exec: That's not an idea.
Producer: But it's Superboy...only evil.
Studio Exec: OK, fine. Who do I make the check out to?

Make it out to The 4-Skins.

For a few seconds I thought this was a sequel to Annihilation. No such luck. It's apparently inspired by Lady Diapers McAstronaut. You know, the one who freaked and planned to kill someone or whatever. 

No one cares, everything NASA says and does is a farce, this movie looks dull and insipid and Natalie Portman's Southern accent is like eardrum cancer, only more tiresome.

A new and burgeoning subgenre: CRISPR-Fiction, or CRI-Fi. However, I kind of feel like I already watched the entire picture just based on the trailer, so I'm not champing at the bit to seek the rest of it out. Let me know if you see it and think it doesn't suck.

i watched this trailer twice and still have absolutely not the faintest living clue what this film is supposed to be about. But it's getting good press, so let me know if you think it's something I need to see.

This actually looks like a lot of fun. I guess this is Tarantino's alleged Manson project but it seems to be a Hollywood nostalgia comedy that folds in the Manson business as a subplot. 

I haven't read the iMDb page yet so I'm not sure who'll be playing the deGrimstons or Charlie Manson's CIA hander. But Margot Robbie as Sharon Tate is certainly tantalizing.

Hillary Duff is set to play Sharon Tate in this intriguing little thriller, based on some possibly apocryphal tales about Tate's tenure in a haunted house and the various premonitions she had there. This might be worth a watch. 

Speaking of Omens, the late screen-goddess (and Quincy homegirl) Lee Remick might well have been the most beautiful being ever to grace the silver screen, even well into her maturity.

I believe she died so young because the demonic Demiurges of this fallen realm couldn't tolerate such perfection. I think it's written about in The Hypostasis of the Archons, but don't quote me on that.

But I should remind you that our lovely Lee co-stars with scenetarian Richard Burton in a film OG Sunners will be familiar with; The Medusa Touch. 

It's recently popped up on Amazon Prime Video, so I very strongly recommend all and sundry give it a watch. It will be on the test.



So, you want to keep the Sun shining? Here's how you can do your part: buy yourself a copy of He Will Live Up in the Sky at these fine book-mongers. 

Buy early and often!