Friday, June 01, 2018

Color Me Entrained

Here we go, kids; Orange is in the air. The all-purpose color is bustin' out all over, but especially so with the gun control movement this weekend. 

The air's gone quite a bit out of the Parkland Pearlies' tires, probably because the Broward County Sheriff's department has proven itself to be an utter shitshow of mind-numbing corruption and incompetence. Messes with the narrative a bit. 

But there's an awful lot of money behind this movement so the show must go on regardless.

Orange entrainment is being aimed at kids especially, most often under the rubric of reducing gun violence (note the shift away from "gun control"), a cause every sensible person supports. 

But since Orange seems to be attached to pretty much every other cause on the planet, you do have to wonder what the actual goal is here: reducing gun violence or conditioning people to wear Orange.

You know my answer.
Yes, you should wear Orange. You really should. 


Because we're making a list of the people who wear Orange and the people who aren't down with the program, that's why. 

Which program? 

Whatever program we fucking tell you. Shut your piehole and go put your fucking Orange on.

You know what? I'm putting your name on the list anyway. 

Just because you pissed me off.
Wait, you got a problem with that or something? You don't support -- what's it called again? -- something-something Douglas High? 

You like dead kids, you sick fuck? You some kind of NRA terrorist?

Hey everybody, this sick Nazi perv won't wear Orange! And he just said he faps it to snuff movies! Yeah, that's right: snuff movies of kittens! 

Check it out, this fashy fuck lives at 1435 Sparrowfield Terrace in Martinsburg Township! He works for LawnGrow and his gun-nut wife works for General Accounting Ltd on Powder Mill Parkway in Garden Grove!

Go @ LawnGrow and General Accounting on Twitter and ask them why they employ kitten-killing, snuff-porn-fapping NRA Nazis!

No. You can't wear Orange now. Too late. 

Go die.
You can tell the movement is a bit becalmed since they don't really seem to be attracting the A-list Millennial talent they'd probably like to and have to settle for some MILFtastic GenX holdovers.

But do note that these women have not only enjoyed fantastically-sucessful careers on their own, the lovely Ms. Milano is married to an exec at the powerhouse Creative Artists Agency, whose ambitions span far beyond show business. And Ms Sedgewick is not only married to Kevin Bacon but comes from a very old Blueblood line.

So maybe not the populists the Orange folks might prefer.

Well, there's a new wrinkle... 
And of course Orange is not only taking over politics and show business but professional sports. I have to say a little Orange goes a very, very long way. Those are some butt-ugly uniforms.

And this Dutch sports franchise combines Orange with the OA.

Seattle was lit up in Orange a few weeks back. For gun violence? No, for cancer awareness. 

You don't support cancer, do you?

Better fucking not.

This is hot off the presses, Google (a division of Alphabet Agency) is joining forces with Euro powerhouse Orange. 

Ah, you can practically smell your civil liberties melting away.

A FB member pointed me to this harrowing short story about post-partum depression, the Devil, Orange and the All-Important 44. Check it out.
Here's another piece of fiction in which a British chat-show host "accidentally" wore an Orange outfit that "just happened" to match the carpet. 

Her name is Charlotte Hawkins, which translates to SecretSunnish as "All for That Went to Charolet Horus-Kin."

Don't worry. You'll get the hang of SecretSunnish sooner than you think.

Ambien Orange. It's hot this season.
GQ shows you how to wear it.
And Orange eyeshadow is all the rave with your favorite celebrities. 

Like, um, Solange. Which almost rhymes with Orange.

The Aussies are rocking the Orange to honor emergency workers. Or were rocking it. Don't know what they're wearing Orange for this week.

And we're wearing the Orange for road safety here in the States. 

There's pretty much no cause that we're not wearing the Orange for these days.

And Heaven or Las Vegas is flying the Orange to keep citizens up to date with the latest doings in road construction...
...while San Francisco is using the Orange to block roads to protest SiliCylon Valley's endless depredations. 

About bloody time, I must add.

Kids are being encouraged to don the Orange for leukemia awareness...

...and for pretty much everything else in the annals of time and space as well. I think this Orange event was for precisely that.

You can wear orange socks to raise awareness of alcohol abuse... the same time breweries are appropriating Orange all over the place for their new products. Orange is flexible like that.
And sure enough, all sorts of folks in the UK will be donning the Orange, as the quasi-Masonic Orange Order kicks off marching season to celebrate some 300 year-old victory over their actual cousins. The narcissism of minor differences, Freud called it. Something like that.

The Orangemen are named in honor of William of Orange, AKA Bonnie Prince Billy. Orange in this case traces its name back to a Celtic water god who was pretty much Oannes.

Small world, isn't it?
And remember that Santa Fe was also associated with Orange.
As were the ancient Sibyls.
I wasn't familiar with this artist (he's got a interesting kind of 70s Al Stewart-Gerry Rafferty vibe going) but I did make note that he's rocking the Orange with the Masonic Tracing Board imagery. 

As one does.