Sunday, March 04, 2018

Pre-gaming the 90th Annual Osiris Awards

Well, it's that time of year again: time to marvel at the increasingly-obsessive and progressively explicit symbolism of the Academy Awards, aka the Oscars, aka the Ausurs, aka the Osiris Awards. 

Hey; I have really bad OCD, too. I get it. Mine's more focused on semi-obscure Scottish divas than on blowing up the world and rebuilding it according to a millennia-old master plan drawn up in the throne-rooms of Babylon during the Third Dynasty of Ur, but who am I to judge, right? Can't we all be broth ...sorry, unfortunate choice of words there.

I can say that given all the new emergent archetypal dominants we've been discovering, this stuff seems kind of quaint and corny and old-fashioned. But seeing that Hollywood is increasingly the Audio-Visual department of the MIC, it still gives an idea of where their heads are at these days and where things might be going.

In case you're new to the blog, this is what Oscar is based on; depictions of Ptah and/or Osiris in a ceremonial pose. Some cults had it that Ptah was an incarnation of Osiris (and others equated him with Amun/Jupiter Ammon) so it's really a distinction without a difference.

Ptah was pretty much the god of masons and other craftsmen back in the day so do the math.

In case you missed the correlation, the nice folks now enclose Ausur in a triangle, suggesting a pyramid shape. Always willing to help, those nice Academy folks are. Wait- don't forget your goody bag!

I also kind of like how they designed the logo for tonight's rituals to emphasize the 9, correlating to the Ennead of which Osiris is a part. I always liked those kind of high-heels too. No no no no, don't take them off, leave them on. 

Bonus OCDery: That O also gives off an eclipsey kind of vibe.

The 9 in turn recalls the mysterious Council of Nine, no strangers to Tinseltown and its ancillaries either. Bear in mind there's a new Star Trek series these days and my money is on the Nine coming back in a big, bad way by way of it.

The big pregame fluff pieces are all taking about the fancy-schmancy crystals being incorporated into the stage design. 

Personally, I hate that kind of shit and think the proscenium looks one of those hasty salt circles Sam or Dean would throw around a weepy brunette coed with a hellhound on her trail, but nobody asked me. Nobody ever asks me about these things. I'm used to it.

At first I was thinking those shiteous chandeliers were supposed to be falling angels, but that was on account of I was looking at a low-rez jpg. I'm not necessarily opposed to the idea, either.

However, I am more inclined to see them as compass and arch-type designs, in keeping with the overall theme of the night.

I mean, we are talking about the Ausurs here.

And per usual, we see the customary Saturn/Black Sun symbolism.

And keep the old peepers peeled for the traditional Nuit symbolism as well. This is a religious ceremony, even if most of the people involved may be obvious to that fact.

There are some, uh, interesting variations on this particular icon out there but this is a family blog.

And in case you didn't know already, the Dolby Theater (aka the Kodak Theatre) was built on the site of the old Hollywood Masonic Lodge. Where else would it be?

With its crimson and gold and circular ceilings, I must admit the Dolby Theater vaguely calls to mind this particular auditorium. Go ahead, call me crazy. It's just a vibe, is all.

And I must say that very Politburo-looking coat-of-arms over the stage of the Dolby (not sure of the exact occasion) doesn't exactly throw me off the scent. 

Neither do the chandeliers. 
But hey, all that was once hidden is being unveiled. Expect nothing less.

Just how Masonic are the Ausurs? So Masonic that their host actually films his late-night talkshow inside an actual Masonic Temple. There's that red and gold again, too.

Like Eminem, Howard Stern and Quentin Tarantino, Jimmy Kimmel is going for broke with the Woke these days. It's a very effective way to getting other Woke-folk to forget what flaming douches they all were back in the 90s. 

Y'know, back when they were talented.

Oh golly, there are so many choices in this category. You gotta feel for the Academy voters; so hard to narrow it down to one rapist. Roman Polanski is Shorteyes Emeritus, so he wasn't eligible.

And in case you forgot, the cemetery where Chris Cornell was interred also features its own Masonic Lodge. Can't say offhand I've seen an awful lot of boneyards that do. Can't imagine the dead have much use for one.

And of course, the courtyard to the Dolby Theater features the Babylon Gate, ostensibly borrowed from DW Griffith's epic flop Intolerance for some obscure and absolutely nonsensical reason or other. 

And hey, look- there are two of the Apkallu, or Seven Sages. Or Shamash and Nisroch, if you prefer.

Or perhaps you prefer the "Angels Who Watch." Or "Vegas," even.

Personally, I call them "Azazarini" and "Semjo." Yeah, me and those Watchers, we go way back. Kickin' back, crankin' the tunes, sparkin' some skunk and doin' up some GTA, that's what we're all about. My peeps.

Now, don't forget to keep an eye on the Secret Sunny nominees tonight, Beauty and the Beast Risen from the Sea foremost among them.

And of course, Lady Siren. But the real question of the night will be is how did I never notice all those pearly dewdrops' drops Saoirse is wearing there? Or the Orange?

D::Wave! Get your ass over here right now, Mister!

And as a couple readers pointed out, Lady Bird writer-director Greta Gerwig also played a Mermaid on Portlandia. She'd better hope no one in Hollywood saw her unloading that AR15, though. She'll find herself pumping out straight-to-Redbox fodder before she can say "Diablo Cody."

There's also Get Out, which is essentially a mind-control epic. Writer-director Jordan Peele, formerly of Comedy Central's Key & Peele, seems like he's down with the "Sacred Feminine," so keep your eyes "Peeled" for that one as well.

Speaking of mind control, Get Out costars Allison Williams, offspring of controversial NBC anchorman Brian Williams. Bonus factoid: Williams also played Peter Pan, speaking of traumatized children and alternate reality narratives.

Allison Williams, I mean, not Brian. I understand the confusion, though. 

Extra bonus factoid: the only childhood/pre-stardom picture I could find online also had Williams dressed as Peter Pan. 

Allison Williams, I mean, not Brian. I understand the confusion, though.  

Buzzfeed has your back, too: 

Speaking of Peter Pan, keep an eye out for male attendees rocking the Pearlies for tonight's ritual invocations. Pay special attention to any of these Pearly chaps milling around the courtyard, gazing with reverence at Azazarini and Semjo.

And don't forget the Orange. Not if you want to keep on working in this town, I mean. 

And just to show I am literally right about everything all the time, Beyonce is going Vega for 44 days.

Well, I'm literally right about everything except when I'm literally wrong. Only I'm not actually wrong when I'm wrong, I'm just right-nonconforming. Right-fluid, if you will.

See y'all later on.


If you're in the neighborhood around the end of April, do drop in the Masonic Lodge at Hollywood Forever to check out The Secret Society of the Sisterhood. Very curious to see what that's all about.

Particularly because their logo reminds me of the sigil for this early 90s Killing Joke side-project, only snakier.