Monday, February 12, 2018

Subterranean Cosmo-Demonic AI Blues

Your brain hallucinates your conscious reality. 

And when I say "your brain," what I really mean is the Cosmo-Demonic intelligence currently rewriting reality using our large hadron colliders and quantum-computing platforms. 

And maybe your brain. A little.

Case in point: Red Gerard, 17, wins Olympic gold at PyeongChang. 

Gerard credits the combined power of 17, the OA, Orange and everyone's favorite, Quasi-Alchemical Sigil, for the win. 

Plus, fez-wearing Plain Tiger. Plus, Stargate. I mean, how could he lose?

Is it just me or does "Red Gerard" sound like a Pirate name? Maybe a Viking.

In other Olympic news, Canadian skater Patrick Chan paid tribute to Bo├Âtes when he skated to Jeff Buckley's iconic cover of "Hallelujah." Incidentally, Chan also skated to "December 1963" by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. 

Late December back in '63 was a very special time for Our Lady, who was enjoying her four-month birthday. 

Also on Sunday, we got news on the Vegas' advance recon vessel, OuMuaMua.

From one Dr. Fraser of Queen's University in Belfast. Whose shield features a Seahorse and the Harp representing Ireland (plus, Lyra).

Reminding us of OuMuaMua's origins in Lyra. Or Vega, specifically.

Speaking of Frasers, Queens University also hosts the Orange Order. 

Ironically, the Battle of the Oranges took place Sunday in the Italian city of Ivrea, an event I'd hadn't heard of before.

In far less festive Orange news, this airliner was brought down outside Moscow, killing 71. Not a glad tiding on the face of it but maybe even more so behind it.

And from this week's edition of First World Problems, a woman flying out of Newark on Spirit Air was forced to flush her emotional support hamster down the plane's toilet.

No, you didn't hallucinate that. I actually said "emotional support hamster."

Kind of a horrible story, actually. Fuck Spirit Air.

Meanwhile in Dubai, world leaders gathered to decide the fate of Artificial Intelligence. 

The options were "submit to AI now or die now."

"Anything goes" for Prime Minister Modi.

What was the occasion? Well, all I can say is that I'm glad all this "new world order" and "one world government" malarkey is just Alex Jones-grade paranoid fantasy, because the secretive meeting was called the "World Government Summit."

Held in Dubai. Where else?

And the secretive World Government has decided: the "next step" is augmenting humans with AI.

Or in the words of warning from the Sibyl, "binding the Pearly to our souls." 

Perhaps it's time we take that warning a little more seriously, eh? 

Several well-known figures were in attendance at the World Government's "secretive meeting," including Cosmos star Neil DeGrasse Tyson. The science-celebrity declared Dubai-- a garish playground for the super-rich, built and maintained by slave labor-- the "city of the future."

Yeah, let's not get too ahead of ourselves, Neal. You don't want those to be the "famous last words" you're best known for.

Dubai is also building a new New Atlantis. I can only imagine the mega-ritual that will be performed for that grand opening, if the one ten years back is any guide.

They've also built another Tower of Babel, just in case something happens to the Burj. These cats sure like to take chances with their symbolism.

Dubai is also turning the QE2 into a floating hotel and museum.  I guess to give the Saxe-Coburgs a home away from home while they wait for Splashdown.

More Orange, incidentally.

Not to be outdone, the UK will be rebuilding the Hanging Gardens of Babylon in Birmingham, a city previously best known for bestowing Black Sabbath and Judas Priest upon a grateful world.

Or maybe that's just another hallucination. 

I mean, rebuilding Babylon? New Atlantis? World Government? That's all wack-a-doodle Fundie conspiracy crap.

This story broke a few days ago; scientists believe (or "want to believe") that an ancient virus may be responsible for human consciousness.

No shit, Sagan. Everyone knows that already.

Yeah, you all knew this was coming. 

Don't get your hopes up yet; this story is actually about a Shape of Water-inspired dildo. They were only kidding about having sex with a fish-man hybrid.

For now, at least. A couple of years from now? 

Well, let's cross that bridge when we come to it.

Meanwhile, Shape of Water "creator" Guillermo Del Toro is out there slathering the media's hungry ears with spoonfuls of politically-correct glop and historically-inept bilge. 

Well played, Guillermo. Now no one will notice you're essentially Harry Knowles with a Mexican accent. #TimesUp will fix their gaze elsewhere.

And best of luck with the lawsuits, by the way. Moving on...

Of course, they're just kidding about swapping out your legs for fins. For now, at least. 

I mean, they're still working on immunosuppressive cocktails to overcome issues with transplant rejection. 

They're getting close though. So don't get too attached to your legs quite yet. 

Just sayin'.

In other predictive programming news, we have the trailer for Stargate: Origins.

I don't know how the fight against Nazis went but I do know that Stargate:Origins wins the fight against quality entertainment by TKO. 
Egads, this entire franchise is like an object lesson in shitting all over a great premise.

Speaking of shitting all over a premise, let's see what NASA is up to these days. 

Funny, I keep seeing "Nazis plan to use the next big volcanic eruption to cool the Earth" when I read that headline.

Because if that isn't a plan some campy old Nazi would hatch in a bad James Bond knockoff TV movie starring James Franciscus, Carol Lynley and Burgess Meredith as Colonel Skarr, then I don't know what is.

Oh, wait. Maybe I'm thinking of something else.

And just because nothing strange whatsoever is going on down in Antarctica, a branch of the Columbian armed forces has decided to establish a permanent base there. 

You know, so their sailors can grab a little R & R. Get some penquin-time in.

Speaking of the prophetic majesty of Our Lady, Nintendo reminded me just how old I actually am when they introduced these new Sirens, Pearl and Marina. If you're Dutch, you may know Pearl as Lorelei.

This is actually a big deal; a number of sites ran with this announcement. It's all part of the Pearl media blitz, which is just picking up speed now. 


The Secret Sun Institute of Advanced Synchromysticism is waiting for you to take the next step in your synchro-journey. Come level up.

And don't forget the all-night 90s lotus party over at SHRR. We're presently up to 1998.