Saturday, April 18, 2020

It's Like the Apocalypse. Only Stupid.

So, how prophetic did this turn to be? 

Or this classic Batman yarn from 1982? 

Just kidding: a rich psychotic manufacturing a deadly virus and using it as a tool of extortion only happens in the funny pages.


The Dune casting has been announced, with Twinkothee Chalupamento playing Muad'Dib. There's the usual publicist-manufactured fan controversies but given Dune isn't exactly a household name, they've been pretty wan. Bad publicist! No cookie!

Me, I have no problem with the casting or the costumes. I'm just leery that 2020 Hollywoke has the brains or the balls to take this franchise on. 

Actually, not so leery so much as convinced it doesn't have either. And it's an open question of whether the entire edifice will or won't collapse before this project is completed.

It's not like the subject hasn't been covered. You got the very entertaining doc on Jodorowsky's 70s pitch, you got David Lynch's queasy fever-dream version and you have two surprisingly good (if not low-budget) SyFy miniseries to watch. 

And you could always, y'know, read the books. It's not like you don't have the time.


Hopefully, you've deleted your Zoom account by now. I'll tell you, way things are going we're going to need to wage our own Butlerian Jihad. 

But since I'm old and sad and pitiable, this song goes through my head every time I see a headline about this latest, completely-predictable techno-disaster.



Lil' Brian doesn't LIKE people who make him cry...

Do you know WHAT HAPPENS when someone makes Lil' Brian cry? DO YOU?

Yes, indeed. I believe you do.


I don't know who made this one but they are possessing of godlike genius. Go make you own.


Fiona's... changed quite a bit. That's an... interesting record cover. And title. 

I'm sure it was.


Fiona's changed quite a lot since the 90s, as we all have. No shame in it, we all get older and less photogenic. I did take note of those pretty green Betty Fraser Eyes, however. 

I'd also like to have a look at her teeth, for obvious reasons.

The Gillian Anderson thing is an interesting sync, given that I was recently looking a pic of Gillian's daughter Piper, who's got quite a set of BFEs herself.

Of course, nothing will ever beat the originals.

Fiona's been having, um, issues for quite a while, so I can't say anyone who's been paying attention is shocked. She didn't exactly look like the poster girl for mental hygiene back in the day either. Music industry, innit?

Funny, I remember the first time I heard this song. I was sitting in the lounge of an advertising agency I was doing an all-nighter at and this copywriter came in for a cuppa and put this on at stun volume. She then got up and did this very slinky dance to it.

I've had worse times.


The Perdition Post-Gazette, I mean, The Wall Street Journal is letting all you big meanies out there in Cyberspace praying you can scrape up enough to make rent next month that you made the Spawn of the Hell's Deepest Pit sad with you questioning his schemes to enslave and poison the entire human race.

Well, maybe not the entire human race.

What's worse, you miserable serfs have been pointing out Beastly Bill's relationship with his handler BFF. 

You are very mean and cruel.

Especially that Secret Sun asshole. 

That fucker is dogfood once Bill(ions Must Die) Gates finally usurps the Principalities, Powers, Thrones and Dominions of this damned realm and opens the pits of Tartarus.

Hello, Open Society Foundation?
Hi, this is Frater Bono, 
heeding my Master's call. 
Yes, I'll hold.

Plus all the mean and rotten things he's said about St. Bono of Vox. Why, we never! 

The man and his money laundering tax dodging grift humanitarian foundation are beyond reproach!

I mean, he's like one of those tinfoil hat types who think the UN is run by some sicko secret death cult or some such utter nonsense.

Can you imagine? Utter insanity.

Next thing you know he'll be claiming these cultic symbols are embedded into Hollywood movies, especially those starring folks like Special Agent George Clooney.


My first thought was, "Well, if you have to ask..."

My second thought was, "Why would it even need to now?"

On a happier note, please enjoy the best song and music video released so far this godforsaken century.

Be sure to pay The Secret Sun Secret Store a visit. We have three amazing, 100% heavyweight cotton T-shirts that true-blue Secret Sunners are definitely going to want. 

The Secret Sun Institute of Advanced Synchromysticism is waiting for you to take the next step in your synchro-journey. Come level up.