Wednesday, April 15, 2020

SUCKIEST. ANTICHRIST. EVER.



Oh, for Heaven or Las Vegas' sake. Two-thousand years of speculation and terror and mass cult suicides and bad gothic fiction and this friggin' nebbish is the Great Beast 666? 

I want a refund.



Do you remember seeing all those scary movies about the Antichrist of the Beast (or whoever the fuck) and it was always some scary yet charismatic and strangely-alluring figure? 

Or how about Aleister Crowley or Jack Parsons or even Marilyn Manson declaring themselves to be the Abomination of Desolation? Or any random Black Metal screamer from Norway you can name?

Surely that all must be based in some kind of fact, right? Surely the Beast that will make war on the saints, that will force those to take the Mark or die must be some terrifying man-god, some golden-tongued Jim Morrison type, right? 

No. Sorry.



It's this cringe tornado of a tax-pirating intellectual property thief. There's your Beast from the Pit, suckers.

Welcome to Hell. Deal with it.



You wanted the young Sam Neill Antichrist? Tough shit. You're getting the "old Woody Allen Antichrist." 

Yeah, seriously. 



And there's the Mark. 

I don't know about you but I would much rather be dead than take this shit. Not to mention whatever ridiculous sci-fi nano-nonsense he wants to shoot you up with to get it.

You want that crap in your veins? For real? You're welcome to it. Knock yourself out.



Interesting headline here. My first thought was consider the source. 

My second thought was consider the source.



I don't remember which mind-numbing shill-mill I grabbed this from. PoliFact? Snopes? Vox?

Thing is I don't care where it came from. It's nothing but an exercise in weasel words, and a bad one at that. I mean, what's the difference anyway? The media doesn't even pretend to tell even a semblance of the truth anymore. 

Why should they, right? Who's going to make them?



And there it is, right on cue: the good old CCP pulling the Beast's puppet-strings. 

I guess they're cosplaying the Dragon that gives the Beast its authority. 



Or maybe Epstein is/was the Dragon that gives the Beast its authority. Eggman certainly had Gates' junk on a leash, as he did pretty much everyone else in that strata. 

And I'm sure we all know how and why. 


And here's the Guy Woodhouse of this dismal, depressing real-LARP Antichrist, Bill Gates Sr. 

Man, the little kids again. Always with the little kids, these people.



I don't know why but that picture reminds me of this. A bit creepier, maybe.



Anyway, let's have a look the Antichrist's track record when it come to miracles and wonders. How he rolls, if you will. Or rather, bankrolls.

In this case he bankrolls some grifters biotech firm's mosquito-eradication project. Nice one, Bill(ions Must Die) Gates. 

So, how did all that work out?



Exactly as you would have expected.



"Accidentally." LOL.


"Backfired." LOL.



This AntiCringe can't even get his Apocalypse straight: one of the last projects he green lights is a partnership with Mysterina Abramalon. 

Ol' Blood Bitch was signed up to help pimp the Beast's surefire-flop V/R project, because there's nothing the young men who'd be your primary consumers love more than weird old ladies doing creepy and pretentious performance art. 

Anyways, how has this little alliance been going for these Powers and Principalities?



Exactly as you'd expect.


(As an aside, I love V/R because it not only inspires Cylons to waste millions of dollars on this perpetual white elephant, but also makes them look like saps in the process. Win-win for the good guys, in my estimation).



Well, there's no shortage of cringetastic satanic witches looking to ascend to the Throne of the Mother of Abominations. 

If Marina craps out, her little galpal Lady Gorgon will be more than happy to take her place. Maybe they can do some kind of stabby-cutty Golden Bough ritual routine with the New Babalon feasting on the blood and viscera of the Old. Stream it on Hulu or something.

Hey man, don't look at me. I'm not into that crap, they are. BTFO, OK?



Gorgon is down with the Borderless Corporate Dictatorship thing, don't you worry. Or at least the people writing the copy that gets fed to the people who run Gorgon's social media accounts are down with it. 

Look at how well the salad of clown-princes like Jussie Trudeau and Jupiter Macron gets tossed in these tweets. You can practically smell Gorgon picking those delicious Francophone dingleberries from her teeth.

Well done, anonymous copy writers and anonymous social media handlers!

I'd write more but I'm too depressed and disgusted. I could barely get through this.


Be sure to pay The Secret Sun Secret Store a visit. We have three amazing, 100% heavyweight cotton T-shirts that true-blue Secret Sunners are definitely going to want. 

The Secret Sun Institute of Advanced Synchromysticism is waiting for you to take the next step in your synchro-journey. Come level up.