Space Farce. Nothing but Space Farce.

For reasons no one can seem to fathom, the Trump Administration launched the rumored Space Force branch of the military thereby officially kicking off the Age of Militarized Space, at least the overt phase in that program.

VP Mike Pence was tapped to make the announcement, just in case anyone might mistake this all as just another skit in the ongoing Donald Trump Variety Hour. No, this is serious as a heart attack. And I can't help but wonder who the intended receiver for this unambiguously-bellicose transmission really is here.

But not all that much.

If you missed the announcement, here are the basic bullet points.

Vice President Pence described the White House's plans for a Space Force, a sixth branch of the U.S. military that would be responsible for operations in outer space, in a speech on Thursday. 

The White House says that the Space Force will be created by 2020. The change, which would require approval from Congress, would be a dramatic change in the organization of the Defense Department. 

"We must have American dominance in space, and so we will," Pence said in his speech at the Pentagon. 

Pence said that President Trump will request $8 billion over the next five years to support military operations in space.

"Dominance in space." Where have I heard that line before? Let me think on it.

I also can't help but wonder of the timing of this event. August 9 is the date that Julius Caesar defeated Pompey during one of the Republic's many civil wars and began his ascension to Rome's first emperor. And of course his successor was Augustus.

More recently, today is the 73rd anniversary of the atomic bombing of Nagasaki, making this an odd, if not in fact questionable, day to announce the launch of a powerful, technologically-advanced branch of the US Military.

Or maybe they made the announcement simply to commemorate Gillian Anderson's 50th birthday.

I also keep thinking about the timing of Alex Jones' mass expulsion from the major tech platforms, a move that strikes a lot of people as a weird burst of collective overkill, given that Jones had long since reduced himself to cartoon-character status and morphed InfoWars into a clearinghouse for GOP talking points.

Why the big hurry all of a sudden?

They've got some logos they want people to vote for. I'm not seeing any particularly unusual symbolism off the bat (some OA suggestions, maybe) but I admit I haven't looked at them very carefully yet.

Anyway, a week ago we had the announcement of 9 new astronauts for the SpaceX Dragon program, which kind of left everyone scratching their heads a bit. 

Do notice that SpaceX head Elon Musk has been taking quite a beating in the media lately after once being lionized as the real-life Tony Stark. What's that about? What are we not being told? 

Maybe Grimes will tweet the answer.

Then there was this announcement, Patrick Stewart starring in a new Star Trek series for CBS Direct. One can certainly argue CBS is simply interested in creating a Trek series that people will actually watch, but it did come five days before Mike Pence announced the creation of a real-life Starfleet. 

Coincidence? Kismet? I dunno, judge for yourself.

What a lot of folks may not realize is that the US has long had a military Space Command, controlled by the respective service branches. This used to be a hot topic among the conspiracy set and no less a luminary than John Lear created a handy resource for information on the military space effort.

Skepdicks and Farteans have long written Lear off as a hoaxer and wannabe but maybe he knows a bit more about these things than some folks are willing to admit. Not saying the guy is an infallible source, just saying maybe his background and connections are worth a bit more than some folks want to admit. 

Lear may ultimately turn out to be a disinfo agent, but what did Deep Throat tell Mulder was the best way to tell a lie again?

Which brings us to the X-Files Reality alert part of the program: The XF "Mythology," as it came to be known, became an actual thing with the "Anasazi-Blessing Way-Paperclip" epic, which all kicked off with a hacker called "The Thinker" breaking into the DoD's mainframe and downloading the MJ12 files, which in this context were the secret government records on alien contact.

Fast-forward a few years to a real-life "Thinker," a Scotsman named Gary McKinnon doing the very same thing and finding all sorts of classified files on the secret space force, including lists of "Non-terrestial officers" and photos of classified spacecraft.

The usual suspects-- again, Skepdicks and Farteans-- dismissed it all as a hoax, but maybe there was a little more to it. McKinnon said something that still sticks in my craw. See if it rings any bells:

So that's what McKinnon, the alleged hoaxer and fantasist, claimed the agenda was over ten years ago. Why does it sound so familiar?

"We must have American dominance in space, and so we will," Pence said in his speech at the Pentagon.

Oh.

Do note that Jon Ronson, who was granted unparalleled access to exotic military programs for the book that was later adapted for The Men Who Stare at Goats, seemed to take McKinnon a bit more seriously than his skeptical brethren. Maybe that's why the Feds were so horny to put the screws to the poor guy.

Wait, McKinnon is from Falkirk? As in "The Falkirk Triangle" Falkirk? Smack dab next to the "UFO Capital of the World?" In the heart of an area a lot of UFOlogists believe is the hub of an interdimensional gateway? 

Interesting. You know, it seems to me someone else I've heard a thing or two about is from that very same area. 

Yes, if memory serves, there's a little burg right next to McKinnon's old stomping grounds that's lousy with military and petrochemical concerns and might have produced a famous son. Or perhaps even a famous daughter. 

"The UFO Capital of the World," eh? "Interdimensional gateway," eh?

Huh. How about those strawberries?

Meanwhile, good ol' Nick Pope mused on Twitter if the "aliens" hurled a meteor near Thule AFB near the Arctic Circle to express their annoyance with the Space Force plan. Given the circumstances I'm thinking it might something a bit more down to Earth.

I couldn't tell if that was a real headline or viral marketing for the next remake of Failsafe. Turns out this "accident" really happened but if you're an aspiring screenwriter you may want to save that clipping for your own nuclear annihilation screenplay.

Assuming we all live that long. Odds are even at this point.

Of course, if you believe the news stories you may be wondering exactly how the Space Force is planning to get into space given recent tensions and NASA's reliance on the Cosmodrome for launching. 

Maybe the Space Force won't actually be using rockets to reach orbit. Just throwing that out there.

NASA's other Orange Twin Mark Kelly made the rounds for the announcement, decrying the program as redundant and wasteful. I'm surprised he could keep a straight face saying so, seeing as how everyone knows NASA are the reigning world champs of redundancy and waste. Why would anyone expect the Space Force to break pattern? 

Maybe Kelly's worried about NASA losing their cherished status as the waste-kings. Look on the bright side, Mark; even if you do lose that crown, you'll still be the all-time gods of fraud.

But seeing as how NASA is the world's most expensive CGI studio, it's good to hear they're making computer games great again by loaning out some of their "stunningly realistic" spacescapes. Good on you, NASA. Make yourself useful.

But if you're a bewildered Boomer who can't figure out why so many of the younger generation think everything is a hoax, maybe that'll give you a fresh clue.

Now, I'm not a Flatso myself, but even so I got a good hearty chuckle out of this headline. Why exactly didn't Google Maps depict a round earth before? Trolling the Flatters, perhaps?

I guess we'll never know.