Tuesday, March 27, 2018

Mermaid Apocalypse: Meet Your New Gods, Part One

Oh, you still think this Mermaid thing is just a fad, like vampires and zombies? 

You poor soul. It will probably pain you to discover that this isn't about some fad, it's about the new religion. 

Don't take my word for it; read this editorial in The Kentucky Herald-Leader, part of the nationwide McLatchy media empire. The sex-mad fish-man is not a monster, he is actually Jesus Christ incarnate.  

No, those aren't my words, they're spelled out explicitly in this op-ed:

But above all, the film is about a God made flesh who’s killed by the state, but then rises from the dead and gives eternal life to his devotee.
The film’s central theme is conveyed in its beautiful, mysterious title that invites its audience to imagine the impossible. The shape of water? Of course, it has none at all. Water takes the contours of its container.
Yes, this film is about our experience of God’s shape, and omnipresence. It’s about water, baptism, cleansing, and salvific intercourse with the divine. It’s about the work of the marginalized (and especially women) that enables the divine to manifest in a world created by men — specifically by a military committed to the God’s destruction.
The piece then goes on to drape its claims in the appropriate shield of intersectional hivemind-goodspeak, something you better just get used to. Because that's exactly how the new world is going to be shoved down our throats from here on in.
And that’s the point magistically asserted at the very beginning of the picture. There the story’s world is portrayed as filled with the medium of life itself. As the movie unfolds, it’s hard to miss that theological point: the world is full of possibilities for realizing the presence of the divine. 
The patriarchal establishment can’t see that. Only the social misfits do —mute janitor, her African-American friend, an aging gay unemployed artist and a Russian enemy of the state.
Bravo. Masterful. Brilliantly duplicitous piece of Mermaid Apocalypse Entrainment® there. 

Did I mention this paper is based in Kentucky, the right ventricle of the Heart of the Bible Belt? Yeah, frickin' Kentucky.

Here's some more: the message here is OK, those Mermaids are bloodthirsty murderers and consumers of human flesh, but hey, climate change. So shut the fuck up.

What are you, a denier or something? Want to kill penguins or something? Monster.

Prediction: We'll all be called "Drowners" by the new race of Mer-Chimeras. Especially, y'know, while we're being drowned. "Hey Drowner! What's the matter, no gills? Haha, sucks to be you. What's that? Sorry, I can't hear you over your gurgling, penguin-killer."

And of course, Secret Sun readers know who prophesied all of this. And apparently do whoever is driving Siren's PR blitz. Pray for us, Our Lady!

And as we saw, all the boys think the Siren's a spy because she's got Betty Fraser eyes. 

As does the "real-life" Mermaid, Hannah Fraser. Sensing a pattern yet? 

We'll look at this little sub-phenomenon in the days to come, along with everything else sitting in the queue at the moment. Patience.


Of course, public installations and festivals are going to be a major part of entrainment in the days to come. In fact, they already are. Like the "Mermaid Museum," part of the Siren PR blitz.

Speaking of which, our pals at the Red Dirt Report took a field trip to the Shrine of Saint Buckley the Good Shepherd-Boy in Memphis and found this little display. Funny. Coincidences are funny. 

So are not-remotely-coincidences.

And then there's this idol in a bar in Memphis. Make your ablutions now. Before they become mandatory. 

You know, beat the rush.

And then there's new idol installed on a beach in France. Can't wait to see what kind of ritual offering will be made in their honor in the days to come. 

Well, actually I can wait, because they're probably be going to exactly like ritual offerings made in the past. 

And then there's this mural by popular artist Audrey Kawasaki. I don't recall seeing murals and idols of vampires or zombies everywhere, do you? 

I didn't think so.

And apropos of nothing, we saw this business during a protest in Portugal. Poseurs.

And the Mermaid Parade is still going strong in Brooklyn. This thing's been around for years; I guess no one told them that Mermaids are a fad.

Then there were all the Mermaids and Sirens we saw for Carnival. And in this case, Mardi Gras in Nawleans and Shreveport.

And Goa, India here. Note pearl.

And if you're in Georgia take the whole family to the Mermaid Fest on Tybee Island, so you don't have to wait until summer for your entrainment.

If you're in the Holy Land, there's even a Mermaid microcountry called Azhkivland on the border of Israel and Lebanon. On the 33rd parallel, for those of you keeping score at home.

While you're there, take a day trip out to Mount Hermon, home of the Angels Who Watch. 

Just don't bring the kids.

On the StarJeffBuckley front, we have this breaking news flash. This is a fairly ridiculous story, seeing that pay discrimination based on gender is already illegal in Canada.

But hey; entrainment. More important than facts.

And Starbucks has introduced the "Crystal Ball Frappucino." I like the original name better; the "Spangle Mocha."

If the first thing you thought of there was the art for the "Pearly Dewdrops' Drop" single, go out and buy something nice tonight. Go on, treat yourself.

And of course, the Gucci campaign continues to grab attention. Note that this image combines Pearls and Sirens. All it needs is something Las Vegas-y to complete the troika.


Now, a Mermaid is not only something you must aspire to, it's something you must become, regardless of your birth gender. 

Take this lucky 'Maid, for instance. They've left the burden of oppressive, toxic Drowner masculinity behind and discovered their authentic self. What a wonderful example for us all.

This "real-life" Mermaid, too. And you can be just like them.

Providing you meet certain criteria, that is. The rest of humanity is what they like to call "groceries." So if a 'Maid addresses you as "old chum," it might not be out of affection.

Just sayin'.

Wow, a whole 45K? Damn, I'll saw my own legs off for that kind of cabbage. Hell, I'd even chew them off. No one ever told me Mermaiding was so lucrative.

And all I have to do are some obliques? Amazing. 

And to help ease the wee wanes over their understandable fears of CRISPR injection protocols, amputation trauma and trans-species grafting, The New York Times points us to this helpful picture book Julian is a Mermaid, in which a young lad discovers his authentic Mer-self.

There's the happy little Mer-being, relieved of the burdens of a socially-constructed drowner identity. Swim against the oppressor, little 'Maid! 

And of course, it's the Times that recommended this. I heard this is a big hit with all their senior editors. I heard somewhere they keep a stack of them in the men's room there. Forget where exactly. 

Maybe I'm mistaken.

And here's the author of Julian is a Mermaid, Jessica Love.  It's Love's first book. You know the old saying, your first book is always about you. 


The delightfully-named Elite Daily seems to be a big go-to source for Mermaid entrainment these days. Kind of a one-stop shopping source for all your amphibious needs.

And since culture is the primary driver of mass-scale social change, they've provided us all with some Mermaid talking points to bring up at your next dinner party.  

And 2018 is the year you Mermaid your life! Dinnerware for your "groceries,"  makeup kits to keep your scales looking fresh and dewy? Mermaiding is an immersive experience.

Hey, remember how I started ranting and raving about the Siren ten years ago and everyone ignored me? And then I really started going off on the Siren last year and everyone thought I was crazy?

Good times.

Right on schedule, the "civil rights struggle" portion of our entrainment show. Young Merpeople are being banned from public pools? Will the oppression ever end? Think of the children! 

March on Washington! Write your Congressbeing!  Demand your Mer-rights! Down with cis-species Drowner oppression! The Future is Mermale!


We'll be looking at the Shape of Water entrainment program in the next installment but for now do note that Mermania is not only about becoming something, it's about fucking something and bearing its little somethings.

Only the truly Woke get it.

And like all of fandom these days, Syfy is so woke it's no joke. So of course they presented this "Chosen One" recently, an OG 'Maid from the movie, Miranda

This reminds me a bit of the denouement of The Millennium Dome Show. How about you?

Merfucking isn't just for breakfast anymore and it's not just for feminine-identified beings. All you oppressive cisspecies-Drowner-troglodytes can join in as well. At least the ones with desirable genetic profiles. 

Tip: If you have to ask, they probably don't want yours.  

For the subliminal neurolinguistic portion of tonight's entrainment, we have headlines like this, subtly pushing the interspecies-xenogenic meme into your unconscious. Some people need to be very gently nudged into the new paradigm. 

And this little viral newsflash here is another thick slice of Mer-meat on the subliminal sandwich from the menu at the That's Entrainment Bar and Grill. That's the place down at the pier, near the aquarium. Can't miss it.

As is Tony Podesta's favorite sculptor.

And in case you can't recognize longterm, multifaceted psychological conditioning when you see it, read this excerpt from The Australian where Poccinnini explains the "anti-xenophobic" aspect of her art.

Kindred, she says. Where did I hear that phrase before?

Oh, I know, I know; crazy. That's me alright, Mr. Crazybones. Just leaping like Superman from conclusion to conclusion. There's no plan to combine human and sea-creature DNA! It's ridiculous!  Impossible!


Maybe not-so-much crazy.

Oh, but that's just cellular petri dish lab-type stuff. Well, yeah, as far as we know. You learn to walk before you run the Boston Marathon. Incremental change is how things are really done (mostly; there's always "Shock and Awe"). 

"Including transgenic ones"

One baby step at a time so the sheep don't get spooked and before you know it those cheek scrapings they grew your great-grandkids out of will be CRISPRd with manatee DNA, and from there it's all blue water and legions of Merpeople on the horizon.

Unless, of course, people figure out what's actually going on and say "no, we don't want this.  This shit is crazy." 

"Plus, stupid." 

That's really something that needs to be brought into the conversation on these various agendas: Everyone thinks these evil plans you hear about are all crazy, but what if they're also stupid?

Think about it.

So yeah-yeah-yeah, I know this all sounds ridiculous and impossible and whatever. But 2018 would probably have sounded pretty ridiculous and impossible in 1998 too. Maybe in 2008 too.


Endnote: The X-Files subtly alludes to this agenda in its prophetic finale, which rules, is awesome and is not only a zillion times better than the other "My Struggles" (which isn't hard, admittedly) it's more entertaining than the entire tenth season. 

Anyone who disagrees is of course gravely mistaken, but that's OK. I will help show you the error of your ways and bring you out of darkness of error into the light of truth and wisdom.  It's why I'm here.