Monday, February 05, 2018

Shocker! PhilaeDelphi Vegas Win Super Bowl! Unexpected!

Fall, Eagle, Fall!

After watching the Super Bowl tonight I came to the realization there are only two possibilities: either I am in a coma and you're all part of my coma-dream, or Reality as we once knew it is indeed dead and buried, kaput, over, done with.

The Philae-Delphi Vegas beat the New Atlantis Baphomets in a game marked by calls so surreal and inexplicable that the normally-staid and conventional team of Al Michaels and Chris Collinsworth couldn't quite believe that they were seeing, and let everyone know in no uncertain terms. And even they missed another howler.

Poor guys. They weren't copied on the memo announcing Reality's untimely passing.

No one seemed to tell them that the poster up top there pretty much spelled out who was going to win, by depicting an Eagle as a giant and a Patriot as a Blue Man standing in front of a black pyramid with an illuminated capstone.

I think you probably recognize the illuminated black pyramid as Luxor Las Vegas, and are sick of me reminding you that "Vega" actually means "falling eagle." 

Note downward orientation of Eagles logo.

After several deadly-boring hours of nonstop shenanigans we had the traditional ritual procession of the Sacred Phallic Idol of Conquest, which many of the victorious Vegas leaned over to kiss and fondle. 

Surely the Sacred Phallic Idol will bless the Vegas and fill them with the strength to crush their opponents, see their enemies driven before them and to hear the lamentations of their women. 

Adore the Idol, Vegas. Let it plant the seeds of triumph inside you. 

Do note the final tally, in which the Baphomets lost to the Vegas by a score of 41-33. The Vegas could well have gone for another field goal but got a little cocky towards the end. I think they were all anxious to kiss the idol and lost focus.

Either way, I hope they won't be thrown back into Tartarus for failing to reach the All-Important 44.

Since both teams beat the Atlantis Falcons, this Super Bowl announced that the Age of Horus is over and all the Illuminist and Masonic symbolism-- 33 and Baphomet and the rest of that fusty old bother-- has fallen before the all-consuming majesty of the Vegas. 

We got this message loud and clear with this Dodge Ram ad; Baphomet (or Pan or Jupiter Amonn or whomever) was built to serve. Serve the Vegas.  

Either way, the game got so tedious that I worked on my iPad during play and only paid attention during the commericals.

And they sucked ass too.

It was pretty much wall-to-wall Globalist propaganda from start to finish. I was wondering if I got trapped in a VR remake of Rollerball or Logan's Run because it was one hive-mind message after the next, with the odd AI horror story blended into the witches' brew.

And some overripe One World Religion messaging too, such as in this Toyota ad in which a Rabbi, a priest, an imam and a Buddhist monk learn to find surcease from their ancient superstitious squabbles in the all-consuming spectacles of the NFLim.

Toyota's new slogan is literally "We're All One Team." Which they actually borrowed from Hillary Clinton. No, seriously.

Not sure if they were riding in a Toyota Isis.

Or an ISIS Toyota.

Hyundai got in the act by recasting TSA airport scanners as "Hope Detectors," in a spot that deftly whitewashed police-state tactics.  

Underneath the politically-correct pandering you could hear the stolid voice of John Houseman telling us all that the Super Bowl was indeed created to demonstrate the futility of individual effort. And the game must do its work. 

The Vegas even used a Diet Coke spot as an opportunity to roll out one of their new models. This one is just a stripling- they'll be a good ten feet tall once they come into their majority.

Stranger Thing's David Harbour starred in a series of ads for Tide, in which mock spots were quickly shown to be Tide ads, somehow implying that maybe all the Super Bowl ads are Tide ads. And maybe I am in a coma.

I guess Tide wanted everyone to be as puzzled as a newborn child and as riddled as, um,  the tide. 

One of the mock ads featured this visual, which some of you may recognize. 

From this.

The overly-blatant Templar messaging carried over into this spot-- a house ad for the NFLim-- in which Eli Manning and Odell Beckham reenact the big dance scene from Dirty Dancing, joined by a number of their New York Men-of-Renown teammates.

"Touchdowns to come." 

Well, the spot was historically accurate, Templar-wise. But I think the NFL actually aired this to prime the audience for the Phallus of Conquest procession. 

I think just such a ritual was actually cited by the Office of the Inquisition during the trial of Jacques DeMolay. Ask Tracy Twyman, she knows that history better than me.

Bonus factoid: the New York Men-of-Renown beat Twin Brady and the New Atlantis Baphomets twin times at the Super Bowl.

And Amazon really jammed hard in that funky Luciferian pocket, including the Fallen One in its sports for Alexa and the Echo. 

It's so comforting to find out that a company as dominant as Amazon seems to have a thing for the Original Angel, don't you think? Well, you can say one thing for them; they sure do know what side of the bread the butter is on.

Of course, we had Buckley-resonator Justin Timberlake doing the Halftime Show and it was as fucking terrible as you've heard it was. Is this guy really a superstar? 

Even so, the symbolism was quite Secret Sunny. Notice the stairs; Justin seems to be in an underground room lit in deep blue, given the effect of being underwater. Or trapped in the Abyss.

The effect's heightened when he ascends the stairs singing whatever the fuck tuneless crap  chartbuster he happened to be pretending to sing.

And of course he was flying the Orange, as were many of the dancers. But there were so many people running all over the place shimmying and shaking and so many idiots jumping around pretending to play musical instruments it all got numbing very quickly.

Timberlake flew even more Orange on the Jimmy Sacred Fallon Procession Show on NBC,  the Emotional Support Peacock network.

Lady Gaga, fresh from her adoration of the Vegas at the Grammys, sent JT her best.

Then all the usual sputter-addicts on Twitter sputtered off because Timberlake went ahead and used footage of Prince for his cover of "I Would Die for You," which is actually my favorite Prince song.

Me, I was actually enormously grateful to hear a song with an actual melody. Plus, did I mention that "I Would Die for You" is actually my favorite Prince song?  It is.

But it was inevitable that Prince would show up, given his connection to Minneapolis and the need to insert symbolism for Regulus in the ceremony... well as a tangential connection to you-know-who.

And of course Timberlake was raised upstream from the Memphis harbor in which a certain Shepherd Boy went to his watery grave.

Speaking of water, there was water symbolism all over the place during the commercials, including one bizarre ad for Stella Artois in which Matt Damon referred to a beer glass as a "chalice."

 Meaning a cup used in a religious ritual. A ruddy cup, perhaps.

Oh, the camera kept cutting away to MLB superstar Mike Trout (of the Pearly Gate Archangels of Inanna's Home) who's also a major Philae-Dephi Vegas fan.

No, seriously. Trout.

Katy Perry, sitting in bad-sales jail somewhere (either that or on tour), was nowhere to be found but for some absolutely inexplicable reason Joe Perry turned up in a spot for Monster headphones, inexplicably starring Iggy Azalea. Not that I minded- Azalea isn't very hard to look at.

Let's wind the clock back to the beginning; Leslie Odom (no relation to Kyle that I know of) stood upon the Sacred Harp of Apollo and delighted the crowd with a rendition of "America the Beautiful", backed by a children's choir.

The female members of which all wore sweaters studded with pearls. 

OK, fake pearls.

And just in case you didn't catch the reference, the camera zoomed in on the treetrunk-sized arm of Patriot James Harrison, which just so happens to have "Pearl" inked upon it.

Later, the Coke spot had some happy folks passing around a crystal ball for no apparent reason at all.

The crystal not only looked quite Pearly by itself...

...but can also be seen not only on the cover of the "Pearly Dew Drops' Drop" 45 but also The Spangle Maker EP as well. Zany coincidence.

Speaking of Pearls, superstar singer Pink was chosen to sing our national anthem, "The Star-Spangled Maker."

Pink Opaque's little pearl Willow walked on the the field with her mom, which was sweet.

But as I watched Pink Orange Red stand atop the Sacred Lyre of Apollo and belt out "the Star-Spangled Fritillary," I couldn't help but wonder...

...why did she look as if she were doing a cover version of Elizabeth Fraser's haircut during the Sibyl's only solo concerts ever on the River Thames during the London Olympics in 2012? 

Was it because of the whole seahorses thing?