Friday, April 10, 2020

ApocaLARPse 2020: Tanked

There's way, way too much flying around out there in the Memetospshere to fold into one post, so I'll be breaking these items up and posting them daily, so buckle up. 

First up, I wanted to hit on a story that's fallen out of the news cycle, primarily because it's related to another story that continues to light up the board. 

Way the hell a lifetime ago-- or back in March -- we saw the media running with this story, which was first pimped as a hydroxychloroquine horror story (and blamed on Trump), until the facts came out that it was about some idiots allegedly consuming fish tank cleaner.

The mainstream media has been working overtime pumping out absolute bullshit lately, which I'm thinking has something to do with them realizing in grief and horror that they propped up a senile perv -- and a senile perv whose cognitive abilities are collapsing in real time before a stunned public -- as their party's Presidential nominee.

Right-wing websites smelled blood in the fish-tank water and looked into the players in this story and soon found out that the man's wife is a hardcore Democratic partisan and there'd been substantial domestic unrest between the couple and maybe the woman has a major drug and alcohol problem. 

Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

Although most reporters gingerly dance around the subject, the inference clearly seems to be that maybe she, y'know, poisoned her fucking husband (allegedly) because she's a crazy bitch (allegedly) and once this lockdown eases she might get allegedly get her allegedly-psycho ass thrown into the pokey. 

I cannot attest to any of this myself, so please take with recommended daily allowances of sodium.

Of course, this syncs up quite handily with America's least favorite alleged black widow, the alleged former prostitute and alleged animal welfare profiteer, Allegedette Murderina McSlavedriver. 

The mainstream media has been hopping with stories defending the villain of the Tiger King set piece, as one would naturally expect. And just because the Sim has gotten so buggy that we have a situation in which none of these alleged reporters are fit to wipe the ass of even the most mediocre White House Press Corps seat warmer from the previous century, some fool actually asked Trump if he'd be pardoning Joe Exotic at a task force briefing. 

For the record, I think Joe Exotic is a charming sociopath, as are all the other major players in that series. He probably deserves hard time for something and it's very possible that Cruella DeVil's husband was in the Barry Seal business. So I'm not on anyone's "side" here.

Speaking of broken Sims, the media keeps working the conflict of interest angle with Trump and hydroxychloraquine, and expectedly failing rather miserably. But thanks to some random bits of code gumming up the Reality Matrix, this story was floated last night about Trump and some cat named "Joe Pizza."

You can't make this shit up, folks.

Even by the abysmal standards of our current corporate media, it was a weak shot. You have to be really stupid to be shocked when a pharmaceutical company manufactures a generic malaria drug. 

Of course, the people who still consume corporate media in 2020 are pretty mother-fucking stupid themselves, so they clearly know their audience. Well done, reporters!

But still, I found it mildly amusing nonetheless in light of all the QAnon boosterism bouncing around on Twitter these days. Something Trump himself seems to be throwing some cryptographic bones to lately. If nothing else, this Q business is training people to think symbolically and that's never a bad thing IMO. 

There's also the fact that the atomic number of chlorine is 17, which Secret Sun readers realized corresponded to Q long before all this business on 8Chan bubbled up. 

Note 3/17 there as well.

There's also the fact that chlorine comes from the Greek word meaning "yellow-green," the color the Hydra has long been associated with. 

So in light of our ongoing stellar apocalypse narrative, that's a twofer. Quine derives from the Spanish word for bark, if I'm not mistaken.

So not only do we have the "Drowned Consort" aspect of the fishtank cleaning guzzler, we have another Harlot to puzzle over, as if there aren't enough of those already. Such potent archetypes are everywhere these days.

Of course, there's only one thing that pops into my head when I hear the word hydroxychloroquine and that's the delicious, wholesome, chocolatey treats that the vastly-inferior Oreo ripped off. 

Luckily, artisanal versions of Hydrox are on sale at selected outlets. Hope no one is hoarding them.

Speaking of Harlots, reader Mel informs us that a Canadian telecom concern is marketing some Orwellianware called Babylon, which already has raised major privacy concerns. To the surprise of no one with two brain cells to rub together.