Wednesday, November 13, 2019

So, This Happened...

So this happened, just in case you still think you live in the same world you were born into. The Vatican seems to have had some involvement with this, what exactly I haven't been yet able to parse. Does it really matter anymore?

That said, it ties in nicely with the new line of t-shirts and bumper stickers I'm working on, provisionally titled "Make Jack Chick Comics Fictional Again." I was considering, "Make The Two Babylons Fictional Again" but I thought the reference might escape some folks.

This is where the idol was modeled from. Comforting, don't you think? Just makes me feel warm all over. 

Oh wait, that's just the flames from the tophet licking at my flesh. 

Never mind.

Lest we forget the portable Ba'al Arch ritual world tour, probably coming to a city near you. Check your local listings. You should go while it's still optional.

And then of course there's the fake controversy over this charming little devil, Phylax.  

Life Hack no. 666: if you have a demonic idol you want everyone to notice, make sure you let all the "religious fanatics" know all about it first. Free publicity, seven days a week. 

And built-in sympathy, too. It's all about the hearts and minds, folks.

Don't forget this charming androgynous alien demon, which may still be sitting atop the Metropolitan Museum of Arm in Masonic Manhattan. Remember the Met Gala that the Archdiocese of New York got involved with when this thing was lording over the city? 

How can you forget, right? Good times.

And if you're talking hideous demons, don't forget the big kahuna, Baphomet. And don't forget that child grooming operation bastion of free thought, the SatAnIC Temple.

Working in a similar vein, this portrait of Pearly Pigtails was unveiled in Cylon Francisco. Where else? Where else can LITERAL BLOOD-DRINKING HEGEMONS create an open-air DS9 LARP of excrement, dirty needles, death-cultic wokeness, predatory crony capitalism and metastasized hyper-privilege? 

Get on the right side of History, Bubba.

Pearly Pigtail's minions are on the warpath against asthma inhalers on account of the fact that it's a windchill of a sweltering 12ºF outside my window in NOVEMBER. 

Stop stealing the children's future, you monster. The only place they should suffer from warming is in tophets!

And listen, I'm not trying to harsh on you, I'm just saying it might be a little, I don't know, subversive if you wonder about the timing of the Khmer Woke declaring war on life-saving medicine, especially for children, and a 13 year-old celebrity dying of an asthma attack shortly after. 

Especially with the fact that this girl's name is essentially Garland Griggs. 

Wait: what's that you say? Griggs was an occupational name for a shepherd? So her name would be, um, Garlands Shepherd Boy...?  

I mean, I realize some of you might believe this Pearly Pigtail business is all a front for a worldwide death-cult chomping at the bit to sacrifice children again, and I want you to know I genuinely honor your you-ness, but I hope you respect my me-ness and my needs to honestly and candidly express my own personhoodness. 

I'm really glad we got a chance to work that out. I feel a lot better now.

And in a mystery worthy of Agatha Christie, the latest Terminator sequel looks to be a calamity of Biblical proportions, flushing $120-$130 million American dollars straight into a rathole. 

How could this have possibly happened? Was it a visit from the Karma Police? 

How did the masses not beat a path to the cinema door to soak in the genius of this unheralded masterwork? The injustice is staggering.

I mean, who among us wouldn't be chomping at the bit to watch these beauties kicking robot ass? I get chills of inspiration just looking at these (s)heroes. 

I mean, you have the 4'9" anorexic pixie who can magically beat up Navy SEALs, a 'roided-up Justin Bieber and an extra-saggy Elizabeth Warren with a Mossberg all working their butts off to bring you some quality entertainment. And how do you repay them? Shame. 

I know I was dying to see this cinematic classic-to-be but I had to shave my chinchilla that day. 

Hey, it was an experiment, OK? I do it for science.