Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The Gnosis of Pain

A lot of people in the general orbit of the Synchrosphere have been writing eulogies for Kent Daniel Bentkowski, aka Kentroversy. I didn't know Kent and I wasn't all that familiar with his work. But I listened to a conversation between the great Henrik Palmgren and the equally great Greg K of Occult of Personality about the enormous suffering Kent had endured as the result of his hemophilia (which resulted in being HIV+ and having Hepatitis C, apparently because of a bad blood transfusion) and realized Kent and I were members of the same fraternity- The Brotherhood of Pain.

When I was 15 I developed an auto-immune disease called Fibromyalgia, but a certain variety which results in a condition called Myofascial Pain Syndrome. MPS creates trigger points in the nerve clusters in the soft tissue of the muscles, which causes the area to spasm, which in turn creates ropey cords of muscle, which in my case can be as dense as bone when the spasms are particularly bad. There are all sorts of secondary and tertiary effects from Fibro/MPS - sleep disorders, memory fog, succeptibility to illness and infection, digestive problems, intolerance to alcohol and other drugs- but the primary effect is pain. Pain that can be so intense to take you out of your head (and not in a good way), or put you in a hyperaware state that you can almost perceive the air molecules as a crystalline sheet, almost like you are encased in acrylic. The bitch of it is that the pain can outlast any medication you can throw at it. Pain is very patient.

When my symptoms first emerged, my pediatrician said it was just growing pains. Then it was sciatica. Then it was neuritis. Then it was herniated disks. But after several years, two very prominent doctors in the field were able to figure out why I used to come home from work (where I sat at a drafting table all day) in tears.

The disease is not supposed to be progressive, but two years ago entered a new phase. I used to have long, asymptomatic periods, not anymore. I used to do Karate. I used to be able to sit at a drawing table. I can't draw on paper anymore- I can sit for very long periods, but only if my neck is not craned. I spent a long time working out the proper ergonomic setup, and it does help. There are all sorts of ways to manage the symptoms, but the one constant in my life is Pain.

Pain has its own agenda. It forces me to constantly make decisions in order to negotiate daily armistices with it. Going to the beach is usually a bad idea. Any kind of activity that involves standing around- museums, parties, nightclubs, etc- is usually out. Or at least has to be planned for. If I break down and end up having a couple drinks somewhere I need a couple days to put myself out of commission to recover. It also wipes away a lot of the nonsense that most people take for granted. You find yourself having a lot less patience for the silliness that people put up with when you're in pain. You don't suffer fools gladly. When someone tells you of some ridiculous herbal treatment or new massage therapy they read about online for your condition, you just have to smile sadly, knowing that they mean well.

But Pain knows that I am weak and lazy. And it forces me to make decisions on how to deal with it. It makes me look for compelling ways to take my mind off of it. It forces me to me to justify my time- I'm going to be in pain so I need to find comfort in a feeling of accomplishment. There are all sorts of easy ways out that Pain has not allowed me to take- the 9 to 5 job, the usual suburban circuit of wine-tasting parties and backyard barbecues, never mind golf. All of those are completely out of the question, since all would aggravate my condition for one reason or another. But I'm sure I could've accomplished so much more in my life if not for Pain.

I know that Steve Willner is a brother in good standing in the secret society of Pain, and Sharon Gilbert is too. I wouldn't be surprised if some of you were as well. When your daily life experience is outside of those around you, it tends to do the same to your thinking. And unless there is some major breakthrough, I don't really see myself dealing with this crap when I'm in 70s, and I'm sure the stress on my body will prevent me from reaching my golden years, anyway. So if I'm going to do what I have to do, I have to do it now. I can't wait until my retirement to do the things I feel compelled to do.

So, if you enjoy the Secret Sun and wonder where I get a lot of these ideas, at least part of the answer is Pain. And hopefully Pain will appreciate the shoutout and make tomorrow a little easier.


  1. This is a thought provoking post, thanks. I never knew Kent personally either, but I could tell that he wasn't a well man, just by his voice.

    I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia also - in my mid twenties. Back then it was a diagnosis based on symptoms, not any pathogen they could see under a microscope. I tried a lot of things to make the constant pain go away, eastern, western, you probably know the drill better than I do.

    I finally determined that it was never going away, and I just had to adapt, so I did. My dreams of physical excellence and achievement melting away with my adolescence. I'd love to be out there "doing it", but the price is steep.

  2. That is a heart wrenching story Chris. One that nearly brought me to tears. Wow.

    I've lived with a constellation of autoimmune disorders my whole life and like you, have dealt with such intense pain that it is indescribable.

    As you said, the pain brings with it an unforgiving loneliness and inability to function "normally" and most people just do not want to be around you nor do you want to be around them.

    It's rare to find someone that can deal with all of the ups and downs, agonies, moodiness, anger, desperation, etc... much less someone that truly understands.

    Maybe someday I'll share with you what I did to overcome my illnesses. I won't say it was easy and it's no magic bullet or quick fix. But it worked.

    Hang in there. The world needs you.

  3. I wish I could've known this earlier Chris. I might be able to help some. Everyone has their cures and what not but for this I am a firm, firm believer in Systemic and Proteolytic Enzyme therapy Chris and Michael. Wobenzym is a classic but also Vitalzym(My Fav.) and Enzymedica makes many different kinds. In my opinion proteases will benefit you most, they are protein digestive enzymes. Second FE or Iron....."Iron deficiency anemia is proving to be a much larger problem with respect to proper immune functioning than previously suspected. Taking a ferrous sulfate supplement certainly helps but iron uptake into the body per se is a tricky subject. We believe that the excessive immune hyperactivation found in HIV and other infections, chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, depression, and other diseases can be partially linked to iron deficiency. If people don't have overt anemia, they could still have an insufficient amount of iron in their bodies for proper immune functioning. These are questions that really haven't been addressed before." Acetyl L-Carnitine is also a biggie,"Chronic fatigue is a characteristic symptom of chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, and some forms of multipe sclerosis. The fatigue associated with these diseases and the chronic muscle pain that characterizes fibromyalgia can be treated, but not cured, with a simple supplement called acetyl-l-carnitine, AKA l-acetylcarnitine. This supplement, taken orally at 2 grams twice a day, has been found to substantially reduce chronic fatigue and muscle pain. People suffering from CFS are known to be deficient in l-carnitine, probably due to diet.There is a growing scientific literature showing that acetyl-l-carnitine reduces the severity of chronic fatigue in CFS, fibromyalgia and MS. In fact, ALC is more effective in reducing fatigue in CFS and MS than the traditional drug used for this purpose, amantadine. And there are no nasty side effects.

    ALC limits acute and chronic pain by upregulating the expression of mGlu2 metabotropic glutamate receptors. Of course, we, the scientifically blessed, knew this all the time...he said sarcastically. I had never heard of metabo..whatever receptors before. Now I love them.


    Apparently, this is a big deal. Glutamate is a neurotransmitter in the central nervous system that plays a major role in acute and chronic pain sensations. Glutamate acts on two very different families of membrane receptors. The first are ionotropic receptors which increase the uptake of calcium and induce neurotransmission, including pain sensations. The second family are called metabotropic receptors and these act to TURN OFF the ionotropic receptors. This is a nice feedback system that limits neurotransmission (in our case chronic and acute pain) by glutamate. Unfortunately, considering the increasing incidence of chronic and acute pain suffered by millions of people, this system doesn't work correctly all the time.

    ALC upregulates the mGlu2 receptor which is involved in turning off the pain sensations associated with inflammatory or neuropathic pain (sciatic nerve, etc.) sensations. No one knows how ALC does this...just be happy that it does. Wouldn't it be interesting if dietary deficiencies were involved in the promotion of chronic pain sensations. And why not...stranger things have happened.

    You need to take 2 grams of ALC at least twice a day to curtail chronic fatigue and pain sensations. You CANNOT take more than 2 grams at a time because the intestines cannot absorb more than 2 grams at a time. If you are in severe pain or are suffering from very severe chronic fatigue, take 2 grams three times a day.

  4. This link gives your typical, quick review of what or how enzymes reduce inflammation associated with the autoimmune disorders. I am going back to school to finish my BIO degree and then push for acceptance to NCNM in Portland to become an ND. So feel free to ask me about this stuff, it is a real passion of mine.


  5. Chris,

    have you ever considered the idea of your illness as a call? I don't want to sound insensible to your pain--i shared my childhood with someone who got a lot of pain-- but pain and illnesses are often considered in shamanic contexts as a call.

    I read your blog basically because of the sun symbolism. Joan Halifax says an identification with the sun is considered as a shamanic call in some cultures. A cosmic travel to the sun is often regarded as an initiation too--see "the dark places of wisdom". Steiner has something about it too.

    maybe you like this: http://www.thunderbolts.info/tpod/2008/arch08/080717stringtheory.htm

    Not saying you'll get your pain out if you get into shamanism or something. Not denying it neither. Only talking about possibilities.

  6. I think Anonymous is right. I had some weird pain onslaught a few years back and it totally put me out of the game for a while, I could hardly walk but cause I knew all about - well, you know what I type about and so forth, I just refused to be ill. Because this is all so fake and everything else, so why should I have to put up with stuff in addition to. I never found out what it was that happened (cause the doctors didn't know), but I know what it was - in a shamanic and synchronistic context.
    It went, then relapsed, and in my case it is basically gone, I sometimes get headaches and I know it's happening because of that same thing that caused the constant pain - painkillers didn't work for me either. I know who is doing it too, or rather what it is they are up to that is causing / caused those things to happen.
    It's all, everything is, about sickness' of the soul. And how do souls get to be detached from being in the 'now' in their bodies fully; this kind of thing being investigated is not liked by those that have caused it and continue to need it.
    When I was younger, I always had various ailments - in every case it was because of "normal" foods and "normal" household chemicals and cosmetics. They're deadly poison to real people Chris, I'm not kidding on here. If you use "normal store bought" stuff that isn't the eco and organic and so on versions, you'll always be sick in some way.

  7. Wow, thank you all so very, very much for your extremely thoughtful and considerate comments.

    Michael- Yeah,I beat myself upf ro not being in super shape, too. But it's pretty hard with that kind of handicap.

    Daria- Let me know what worked for you!

    Michael H- Very useful info- I will hit the hfs today. I used to take ALC regularly, but don't remember if it affected the pain. I will definitely look into that.

    Anony- It's interesting- I've read that a lot of shamans had dramatic illness as children.But like I said, it certainly changes how you see the world.

    Zuppie- you're right about the chemicals in one regard- one of the aspects of Fibro is heightened sensitivity. And a lot of that stuff really bothers me.

  8. Pain is all I feel as well, due to a total collapse of my urinary system 7 years ago. A few weeks before my 20th birthday, an experimental, extremely low-calorie, white vinegar diet I had been following for nearly a year took its toll.

    You see, I used to be overweight. This experimental diet actually worked, it allowed me to lose 80 pounds very rapidly. But I didn't stop after I had lost all of the weight I wanted gone. Big mistake. I ended up peeing what felt like liquid fire for two solid months. I couldn't sleep, the pain was too much, all I could do was shake and sweat while lying down. And then my digestive system, nervous system and immune system went down as well. Multiple allergies and progressive, compound symptoms keep piling up.

    I've been dealing with a VERY frail body since April 2001. And, unfortunately, there is no healing: the nerve endings along the inner lining of my urethra have been chemically burnt. They keep sending me pain signals no matter what.

    Which makes sex (even with myself) a very complicated thing, as you can imagine. Not to mention that I'm now extremely allergic to latex as well.

    Suicidal tendencies have also become a major part of my life, naturally. But I soldier on... for some reason. I keep telling myself that I'll die eventually anyway, so I might as well stick around to see the end of the movie.

  9. On a further note, I just meant to say that pretty much everyone on this planet is living with their own secret pain. Our healths have been ruined by one factor or another, our rulers rather have weak workers than strong revolutionaries, I guess.

    At least you're not allergic to lactic acid. I am. Lactic acid is naturally produced by human muscles. Imagine being allergic to your own muscle movements. So you're definitely not alone, Chris. We can all be miserable together. ;)

  10. Sorry to triple-post here, but do you think we synchromystics have rejected the illusions of the physical world precisely because of our suffering? Nah, that's a bit too Catholic, the stations of the cross and all. As if the only path leading to the light of Heaven is the path of devastating agony, as if we've told our failing bodies to go f*** themselves and have decided to invest ourselves entirely in spiritual/metaphysical matters.

  11. Excellent post. Thank you for respecting us with your honesty.
    (It is interesting that the things which have prevented us from traditional life roles have, in doing so, granted us spiritual and intellectual freedom.)

    On an unrelated note, I saw you liked Jason and the Argonauts. My passion is games and there is a game coming called Rise of the Argonauts. Check out the trailer. Might interest you, might not.

  12. christopher,

    there is most probably a link between fibromyalgia and toxic teeth such as:

    -root canals
    -jawbone cavitations
    -battery effect (gold & amalgam crowns next to each other)
    -non biocompatible implants
    -amalgam fillings (=autoimmune disorders)
    -impacted wisdom teeth

    here are some good books:

    -root canal cover up by george meinig

    -uninformed consent by huggins/levy

    -the roots of disease by kulacz/levy

    thanks for your great blog.

    all the best,


  13. Simon, that's very interesting- I had a lot of fillings by that time. I'll ask my doctor about it on Thursday.

  14. Hey Chris,

    You'd mentioned this before but I wasn't aware of just how bad it was. That's just awful.

    But I want to echo Anonymous re: the shamans... extreme pain is itself a form of altered consciousness. Maybe this is less a closing off of avenues than an opening up--you wouldn't think as you do without this (continued) experience.

    At least that's how I look at it. I try to keep that sort of thing in mind for when I have one of my simple partial seizures. That said, my seizures are uncomfortable but not painful, so file this under "shut up, Gene" if you must!

  15. Gene, the interesting thing is that I've had pretty unpleasant health problems my entire life, with their attendant repercussions.


  16. Wow, that reminds me of two events in my life, either seizures or me slipping from wakefulness:

    1. A few months ago I was in bed--not asleep yet--and suddenly I saw this man standing by my bed wearing a bowler hat. He reminded me of an old carny although it's hard for me to remember the details of how he looked. Anyway, I felt such a sense of menace off this old apparition that I remember reaching for the knife I kept under my mattress at that time. But all I remember is "he was too fast for me." I don't even remember the action or visual sensations, just that phrase or impression of those words. I also don't remember much after that but I know I got out of bed.

    2. re: the secret alphabets, there have been a couple occasions where I've seen what looked like devanagari on the ceiling--which then start to wriggle like worms or little snakes and fall to the bed. It impressed me so much as an image that I included it as a scene in a screenplay.

  17. I am a brother in pain too my friend. As was Robert Anton Wilson, he had polio as a child and was treated with a radical method, and years later entered the gates of chapel perilous, losing his ability to walk on and off until the end of his life.

    Mayans and other indigenous tribes choose their shamans from birth/childhood related experiences usually when they are mediaters between the world of the mundane and the world of illness/near death and delirium, and when they were old enough theyd be selected by older shamans.

    I grew up for many years with an untamable unknown disease where , seasonally at least for 24-48 hours i would be in the highest form of agony and delirium from a problem located in my abdomen, vomiting uncontrollably until i would pass out from exhaustion. i was told it was cyclic vomiting syndrome, sort of like abdominal migranes they called them for about 5 years. blood tests revealed nothing until 2 summers ago exactly on 8/10/06 i was traveling with my soulmate and was hit with an episode when sleeping in a park, I had to go to a hospital because it was unsafe to get this sick outside and once in blood tests revealed my body was trying to get rid of my appendix. I had an emergency appendectomy because it was about to burst inside of me. I woke up a mystic after the surgury, all the coincidences in my travels lead me to a park just a few blocks from the hospital. Since then I have only suffered from occasional migranes. But I am thankful for the awakening that that experience had allowed me. Thanks for posting that, hope that your well nowadays, be well chris.

  18. Well, my brothers and sisters- maybe we need to heed the call and supply the world with new visions and dreams.
    I must say, Pain may put you in touch with a higher awareness but it makes it harder to channel it. So many paradoxes, so little time.

  19. Great article! I hope you all can find some type of solution to make it easier to deal with! I would definitely look into the dental link! If any of you have any amalgam fillings, you need to get them removed asap. There is mountains of research that proves the damage that they can do, and cause mysterious diseases. I have been dealing with my own dental pain, for few years now. Most of it stems out of poor care, and not being able to afford to fix problems. I finally got insurance to try an fix some of my problems, but they are such stingy bastards with it! They cover like 75% of the mercury filling, and like almost nothing for porcelain which is non-toxic. One tooth I just "fixed" would cost $3600 without insurance! I have done some good alternative treatments, but simply cant afford to go that route. If dentists actually fixed your problems, they would have no business. Instead you have to continually go back all the time, to fix work they already did. Its such bullshit, but I haven't been able to find any solutions so far..

  20. I'm really blown away by this thread because I, too, have had to deal with chronic pain. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia several years ago, as well as sarcoidosis and degenerative disk disease (had back surgery, too). Thankfully, the sarcoidosis, while certainly irritating, hasn't ever attacked my organs - just eyes and skin. The eye part has been very frustrating because I'm an artist and I can't see very well any more. Anyway, I suffered with the pain for years before I had enough and went to a naturopath. Found out it was caused by severe allergies to eggs and milk! So now my pain is manageable again, unless I don't get enough sleep or get stressed out.

    The reason I'm posting is because I think it must be true that pain has pushed some of us away from the physical and more toward the spiritual. People without pain think those who have it are hypochondriacs and generally dismiss things they have not personally experienced as silly. Once you become vulnerable, you begin to question many other things as well, like what is life really about, is there a God, why am I here, what happens next, and have I really loved other people and appreciated the world around me enough. It definitely changes you.

  21. I think clinical depression (which I am diagnosed with) can be pretty painful but probably nothing compared to some of the conditions experienced by humanity. The only pain I seem to go through is deeply emotional and ethereal, never really physical since I guess I'm switching the normal physical pain quota over to more acceptable receptors. Nice post, pretty inspiring.

  22. I would just echo the earlier comments and thank you for your candor in this personal matter, Chris. Anything we can do to break down barriers between us is a step in the right direction. Let the secrets be revealed! It liberates us all.

  23. Thanks again, everyone. It's funny, but after a really bad flare-up over the past week, my symptoms have been pretty manageable today. That has a lot to do with the weather- it was nice and cool this morning. Any inflammatory disease is at the mercy of the weather, sad to say. Which seems to be getting more and more weathery every year, I have to say.

  24. Although it saddens me that there are so many people that are experiencing such debilitating & challenging health problems, I have to say that it is wonderful to see that, despite the hardships, their spirits are not broken.

    Chris, you have an incredibly generous, loving and thoughtful group of people visiting your blog. This particular post has had a cathartic effect...not only for us, but I hope for you as well.

  25. Amen Brother ~ Not many people know what chronic pain is all about.. Even in this young body.. There are moments when I feel 105 years old on the brink of passing over to the other side.. It's a subliminal that pushes the creative process along at a quickened pace.. because you're not convinced of how many tomorrows you will have left.. It also lets you pause and appreciate every day as the gift that it is ~ and put into practice the philosophy of, "The Love you Withhold is equivalent to the Pain you Carry." Keep everything up my friend.. I really believe we are all going to play major roles in the unfolding of the evolution on this planet.. That's why we're all coming together now.. and that's why we're all being tested so severely.

    One Love,
    S. Willner

  26. Great to hear from you, Steve. And I loved your's and Jake's recent video- extremely poetic in all the best ways.

  27. Definitely the teeth thing - one of my kabbalah related investigations was about the correspondance between vertebrae and teeth (and 33 steps - but that's a slightly different thing, but it does involve bowler hats though!).
    Later I found out that there's Russian research that found links between teeth and memory. I'd been drawing pictures of teeth as computer ROM chips!

    Shamans would be ultra-sensitive, like the mine canaries of the tribe. What happened is that human society is being entrained not to pay attention to the inbuilt wisdom that comes readymade. The folk medicine and the means of communing with nature by plants, is something they want to wipe out; the only way they can stop people seeing the truth is to take away their ability to listen to it and program them to think such things are silly, dangerous, or just plain don't work. Even though they obviously worked all along (otherwise there would have been no people around), and what's replaced them has introduced masses of problems and diseases and that didn't exist before.

  28. re: Bowler hats - you should watch pi! In context of The Matrix. Should explain it.

    Other links - Magrites painting, Jim's appearance as a bee-like bowler hat wearer in MST3K, how Kubrick found the look for the hats in Clockwork Orange, and the link with a "strike" in bowling and in baseball.

  29. Bowler hats again: I almost forgot about Mr.Benn !:


    "Whether in a book, or on television, Mr Benn's adventures take on a similar pattern. Mr Benn, a businessman wearing a black suit and bowler hat, leaves his house at 52 Festive Road and visits a fancy-dress shop where he is invited by the moustachioed, fez-wearing shopkeeper to try on a particular outfit. He leaves the shop through a magic door at the back of the changing room and enters a world appropriate to his costume, where he has an adventure (which usually contains a moral) before the shopkeeper re-appears, and the story comes to an end. Mr Benn returns to his normal life as a businessman, but is left with a small souvenir of his magical adventure.

    Additionally, scenes before and after his adventure usually have some connection to it, such as the games the children are playing in the street as he passes."

  30. About the teeth link again: the backbone is where all the nerve endings branch out from. A lot of dentistry, like medicine, is really shit, so it's basically doing damage all the time whilst fixing maybe one thing in context.

    All things are remembered / recorded in some way. Not always consciously, but all events that register to the senses, including touch (internal and external), will be recorded.
    Just because an area is numbed doesn't mean it won't be recorded as having happened - the teeth are still drilled, all those vibrations still happen and are recorded.

    So to take a hypothetical example, you could get a filling done, and the vibrations caused though not felt during the time under the injection, could be echoing around the nervous system for a long time. I mean, consider the amount of neuron firing is set off from even a couple of seconds of drilling. Pain persists beyond an initial thing that caused it because the neurons are still firing the signal that something not right happened.

    There's also vaccinations that could be to blame for all kinds of illness' and health problems. They're altering the DNA artificially, so that you seem to have an immunity to whatever disease is being vaccinated against.

    Unfortunately that whole system is very wrong is so many regards, but it's all most folks can resort to - including those who practice it themselves. For example, it doesn't tend to work alongside or enhance the bodies own recovery systems - but, it will address those and recognise they exist........following a procedure that itself works against them!

    Example - even an incision for surgery that if not performed is going to result most likely in death, will still be seen by the body as what it is: an intrusion that has to be fought against. So the methods that have been mostly developed are always triggering the immune system and built-in recovery to do even more work, so then it is having to deal with the original disorder as well as the un-natural means of fixing the original disorder.

    I suspect that only people that may have witnessed advanced alien types of medicine will be able to appreciate how awful what we put up with here is. All the new diseases and ways you can have a terrible accident, mostly come from the same system who's methods to deal with the problems aren't nearly as advanced as the various things that cause them.

    So things like machinery and road systems and guns and related weapons are invented, but without the corresponding means to cure easily what damage they may do. And on top of that they take so many people out of nature and stick them in boxes in green-less cities where diseases are not kept in check by the plants and soil and so forth, because there's none or not enough nature around. So there's less oxygen in general too, which makes for lesser baseline general health; and too many people for the spaces they occupy all breathing in one anothers exhaled air, and washing and cooking with water that's been recycled hundreds of times.

  31. Your blogs here, Professor, have almost always been truly brilliant, but I'd've never have guessed it was due to your mind being forced to take you far away from places your fibromyalgia had taken you to. I knew that there was that Obsessive Compulsive Disorder facet that we & others share. I'M BRIGHTENED BY THE FACT, THOUGH, THAT IT HAS GIVEN YOU THE WILL TO FORGE AHEAD. So many have just given up. I could have, just from being so far apart from my surrounding human neighbors. You'll beat this thing, Chris. And for any who've not familiarised them(s)elves with the Visionary masterpieces of Alex Grey, one of which you christened this specific thread with, please visit his Chapel of Sacred Mirrors in NYC as did I when Graham Hancock & his wife Santha Faiia were on their book tour for "Supernatural: Meetings with the Ancient Teachers of Mankind", a must for all synchromystics & psychonauts alike. Or visit cosm.org/ (great site!)

  32. You're a great person and you made a lot of awesome analysis and writing. You can be proud of your work.
    I don't know if you're mostly motivated by pain, but with most of your readers, I pray you can continue your works for many years. Long live to Mr Knowles !

  33. Chris, have you checked out Hemochromatosis (Haemochromatosis) otherwise known as the Irish curse among many other things?



    It's worth looking into if you haven't already.

  34. Thank you for posting this. I am in the same boat. It is frustrating not knowing how to cure Fibro pain. I am pretty sure it was triggered by an operation. I woke up to horrible pain in my legs after a three hour hysterectomy due to complications. Because my legs were elevated for so long the muscles freaked out and so did I when I woke up to that kind of pain. It caused a sort of PTS. They say the fascia of the body is basically on high alert thinking that at any moment something might hurt you so the nerves are constantly sending pain signals to the brain at the slightest touch. Muscles are always spasming and hurting. I take Tramadol and it is a miracle drug but I don't want to be dependent upon a drug to function. So I am trying self hypnosis to get to the subconscious origin for the pain. Trying to release that fear and restore the proper balance between mind and body. Everything is energy. Balance feels good and imbalance hurts. It seems simple but it is obviously the most difficult thing for us to do; allow higher consciousness to do it's job and stop letting ego mind run the show. I wish you the best of luck and send you love.