Monday, March 12, 2018

Apocalypse 4Ever: Snowblind

I'm back. Did you miss me? Oh, you did? That's so sweet, thank you.

In case you were wondering, I was at APOCALARP-CON 2018, drilling the breakdown of the Grid when the poles flip, or the Sun burps, or Russia launches Coldbringer, or whatever. The great thing is that we didn't even have to leave the house! In fact, we couldn't have left the house even if we wanted to.

Yeah, this time around we rolled the old twenty-sider and got "You are cut off by more than a foot of wet, heavy snow and fallen trees on either side of your property! Plows are nowhere in sight." Luck be my lady!

I knew we rolled for "No heat, no power, no internet" but this was a real treat. We did have a kerosene heater on hand so we didn't exactly get the full ride-- meaning we got the downstairs nice and toasty so we didn't all die in our sleep of hypothermia-- but you know how it goes with drills. 

But my car did get stuck in a ditch and had to be towed out, so that was totally boss. And we lost the old mulberry tree but nothing came down on the house, knock on wood. 

Same goes for the nor'easter right before this one. You know, the one with the tropical gale-force winds. We got the power back last night but the cable is still out so I'm using my phone as a modem. 

And just to make it interesting I got a bad cold and still had to go out and drag ginornous branches off the street and shovel countless hundreds of pounds of slushy ice as well. Man, you really get the immersive experience at APOCALARP-CON. Worth every penny.

The view from my driveway- 
That's supposed to be a street

I mean, this year wasn't quite the tour de force with Sandy, what with the opened-gates of Hell hurricane-force winds, ball lightning flying down the street like those little lighty-looking UFOs in Close Encounters and the Fall of Berlin destruction everywhere you looked the next day. 

My favorite were the 70 foot-tall oaks knocked down all in a row like dominoes (or Donimos) and the trees with eight foot-tall root bases ripped out of the ground like Kleenex. Or all the downed utility poles and live power wires electrifying the wet earth. 

We did get some of that this go-around; lots of live wires dancing around. I heard one burned a five-foot wide hole in the pavement. Zappy!

I was going to update earlier but using Blogger on a mobile device is like playing guitar with hockey mitts on. I mean, who'd expect Blogger to be compatible with Chrome, right? It's not like they're owned the same comp... never mind.

So yeah, we'll be investing in a proper generator so we'll be ready for the next 
APOCALARP-CON. Though I'll probably stay off the iMac then, too.

The thing with APOCALARP-CON is that it's kind of like those old Monty Python episodes where they'd run the end credits even though there'd still be boffo yuks and zany hijinks to come. (Or for you younger readers, kind of like the teasers at the end of the Marvel movies). 

For example, a few weeks after the 2012 Superstorm I was driving my daughter home from school and an massive tree just pearly dew-dropped onto the street in front of us like an old dog flopping onto a plush carpet. 

Had we been on that street just a few short seconds earlier my car would have been instantly pancaked with my daughter and I in it. I'd be blogging to you from the Pearly Dewdrop Gates.

How big was this tree? See all that there? That's what they cut it up into. "Huge-ass," is what the kids would call it.

But the great thing about Apocalypse LARPing is that it's everywhere all the time now, it's just a question of degree. Everyone can play now! 

For instance, there's the Edward ALEXAnder Crowley surveillance device that's been "malfunctioning" and responding to prisoner user requests with maniacal laughter.  Don't worry, Lex Luthor's team of experts are on it like Blue Bonnet:

How serious are Amazon taking this? So serious that Worshipful Master Bro. Jimmy Kimmel (Hollywood Lodge no. 2044) was tasked with whitewashing the whole episode with his trademark "humor." 

Plus, veiled threats.

Secret Sun readers, on the other hand, aren't surprised by any of this. 

You all remember the Lucifer and Terminator action figures in the Alexa Echo Super Bowl ads, right? You think they were there for decoration?

Them and the Ubaid-vintage Reptilian? If so, hit the archives- stat!

Speaking of the Mark without Which No Man Can Buy or Sell, there is a veritable army of "ex" CIA, NSA, etc etc agents running for Congress as "Democrats" this year. I can see the wisdom in this; why carry on with the illusion that votes count and politicians are anything but puppets who dance to the same tune no matter what party they're in?  

Masterful. That's why we pay these folks the big bucks.

And did you happen to catch this little trial balloon thrown up using the Hogg siblings? Yeah, armbands. 

No, seriously.

Interesting look, eh?  Oddly, no one in the mainstream media seemed to notice this rather audacious bit of symbolism, despite the obvious parallelisms at work here. Must be one of those glitches in the Matrix you hear about.

Oh, well. Kids these days, right? Armbands, rallies, slogans, witchhunts, loyalty oaths, no-platforming, gang-beatings of dissenters. Whatever. 

At least they're not acting like a bunch of fasci... oh.

Hey, Look! Charmander! Gotta catch 'em all!

Hey, now here's an interesting little item; a former member of the Children of God (that is, the intelligence community's honeytrap for Third World businessmen and politicians) has a new book detailing her just-like-Rose-McGowan experiences in the "apocalyptic sex cult."

And you wanna know what's really wacky about her new tome there?

This Spooky little sexcult used to hold shooter drills in their compound in Thailand. Ain't that the living end? Where did they ever get a kooky, mixed-up idea like that? Man, truth is stranger than fiction.

Nutty, eh? What a lollapalooza.

I found this shot interesting, of the author and her twin sister in Thailand as children. Looks vaguely familiar, no? Whatever could I be thinking of?

Damn, it's on the tip of my tongue. Can someone lend me a hand here?

Whoa. I saw this story and my heart sank. Are the Microbes indeed Ready? "Disease X"; now that sounds ominous, doesn't it? What do we know about this existential threat to all human life on Earth?

Oh, wait. We don't know anything. Because Disease X doesn't actually exist. 

That gul'darn UN! Stop scaring us, will ya? 

Don't you lot over there on the East River have anything better to do with your time? 

Wait; don't answer that. I've seen what your Blue Helmets like to do for kicks in their off-hours.

I mean, it's getting so you can't trust any Bond-villain Globalists any more! Take Blofeldo Bono, for instance- his ONE (as in "One World Government") "charity" has been up to the very same shenanigans all the other Bond-Villain Globalist charities are guilty of! 

And now you tell me that ONE is also a Bond-Villain Globalist honey-pot operation? 

Oh, the humanity! Is there nothing left to believe in? 

How can an organization that boasts David "Man-Pig Love" Cameron, Sheryl "Panopticon" Sandberg and a minor league Kennedy-to-be-named-later on its board (and worse still, besides) be anything but as pure as the driven snow? 

I can hardly see the screen through the tears of despondency and disillusionment. 

I am literally shaking, literally. 

Very, very shaky here.

Speaking of trial balloons, good ol' Dickie Dawk is waving the flag for cannibalism as of late. Because why wouldn't he?

After all, this is the same Dickie Dawk who waved the flag for "mild pedophilia" as well. I'm assuming "mild pedophilia" is the kind that doesn't involve cannibalism. But don't quote me on that, though. 

Maybe just mild cannibalism.

Or no cannibalism, but maybe a little light Satanism. Yeah, that's from Dickie Dawk's website. Dickey LOVES the Temple of Satan (sic). 

Go look for yourself.  

Maybe Dickie Dawk is just trolling the Voatniks and the 4Chansters. Only he's clairvoyant and got to trolling 'em several years ago. Or, D::Wave.

Speaking of mild cannibalism and a little light Satanism, Katy PerryKing is in the news yet again. In this case, her and the elderly nuns whose convent Katy LukePerry wants to rededicate in the service of Mystery Ruddycups the Great. Allegedly.

Well, all I can say is that you'd best take on some heavy-duty warding if you ever go head to toe with Katy PerryRhodan in a court of law because Katy ParryThrust's conjuring kung-fu will drop your ass --but cold -- just like she did with the poor, naive, cloistered soul who thought her puny saints were any match for the Scarlet One Who Serves the Beast Who Shall Make War with the Saints, and Overcome Them. 


Tonight, it is truly dew-dropping on the Angels of the City. Did anyone prophesy these people?

Only Hamill. Come in, Hamill. 

That's Mark Hamill-- aka Obi-Luke You're Our Only Hope-- who received his sacred Venusian pentangle on the Holy-Wood Walk of Renown. Hamill was joined by his wife and children. Plus, their dog. Plus, R2D2.

Plus, R-LA-T, who was there in spirit. Pray for us, R-LA-T!