ApocalypseWatch: ELF on your shelf

Wow, there's an image for you, eh Jimmy? Pretty gruesome looking fella, wouldn't you say?

Go Home, Alternate Reality Construct. You're Apocalyptic.

I know what you're thinking-- is this a headline from 2009? Sadly, no. 

Yes, under normal circumstances, this nonsense would be as newsworthy as a Paris Hilton sextape but normal circumstances called in sick this year. 2017 is covering for them. 

So if you're still nostalgic for 2017, dig those fidget-spinners and pussy-hats out of the attic because there's loads more 2017 on the way.  

2018: Same Great 2017 Taste, with 33% More Apocalypse!

"Some people are falling for it." Of course they are, because those mannequins don't look anything at all like oversized action figures. And the bumpkins and naifs who attend the Consumer Electronics Show aren't used to seeing these kinds of exhibits, right? 

But hey, you gotta push those antihuman memes so what's a little white lie for the cause?

"The BEAST Awakens at KEK"

I realize I've been bombarding everyone with information for the past several weeks but you know the old saying; fish while they're biting.

 

Babylon's Burning

Well, California wildfires are back in the news, this time in the south. Because these fires are striking at a major nerve center, so to speak, they seem to be getting a lot more attention in the news. 

Feeding the Fish in a Never-Ending Ritual

Just in case you think you're still living in the same reality you grew up in, let me present you with Exhibit A of the new Bizarro World reality: the fact that Donald Trump feeding goldfish is a front page scandal all across the known lands and all ships at sea.

As you probably guessed, this is all part of the Never-Ending Ritual that seems to be pointing our attention to the Stars...

Orange You Waiting for the Fallen Vegas to Return?

Well, timing is everything. Six days before Heaven Upside Down or Las Vegas exploded into the world's conscious a new comet was spotted entering the Solar System. 

An historical first, or so I'm told. 

Three guesses where it's from. 

Heaven Upside Down or Las Vegas: It Takes Two

Since the Route 91 Harvest shootings on 10/01 we've been bombarded with a flood of stories calling the official account into question at the same time we're seeing a whole spate of seemingly-unrelated news items that seem to have a recurring theme.

Heaven Upside Down or Las Vegas: The Sickle

OK, we have a lot to go through here but I've finally cracked the code. This post will surely be updated but I want to just lay this all out for you because literally everything I've been trying to untangle since May all comes down to one thing.

One word actually. And I'm not entirely sure it's a very reassuring word at that.