We Interrupt This Century to Bring You This Important Message

How miserable is this stinking new millennium? It's my little 'Nonnie turns 50 in October miserable. Kill me.

Yes, everyone knows the 21st Century is a bust. You know it, I know it, my dog knows it. Everyone complains about it, but no one ever does anything about it. 

That is, until now...

Doing It for the Children

 

This seems like it's going to be a banner year for Knowles' Second Law. We're not even out of March and already we have the State of California mandating invocations to Aztec gods of human sacrifice. Now we have Lil Nas X enlisted for Cringeianity's (which some call "Satanism") latest effort to wrap their pasty, pudgy little fingers around America's young.

A Heroic Dose of Secret Sun

Feeling lost and adrift? Can't reconnect with the Source, the Ground of Being, the Great Universal Spirit? Maybe you just need a very strong course of Secretsun-Diethylamide-Tryptamine-317. 

Studies have shown that patients who've received strong doses of Secret Sun recover 33% more quickly from spiritual malaise and dark spellcraft than patients who were given a placebo.

I Want to Get High, So High(erside).

  

Hey, Carlwood-man, hey, what you say? Gimme some of your bandwidth. Hey.

The (Not-So) Secret History of Saint Patrick's Day

Well, it's that time of year again, time to celebrate the Great American Bacchanal and bone up once again on the real origin of this holiday. With any luck, many of you may be going out and getting drunk on Wednesday, assuming your local officials aren't already drunk.

Drunk with power, I mean.

Something Smells Fishy with the Royal $cam

I'm getting the feeling that the pools and beaches will all be opened this summer. Why? Because the whole Mermaid thing is heating up in the news again. And of course the Pearly Princess and the Bastard Ginger are game to help push the meme.

Gimme That Old-Time Religion. OK, Maybe Not THAT Old.

You know the old saying: "The Secret Sun is always right; especially when it's wrong."

What I mean by that is OCD. Never discount the power of OCD.

"Ultraterrestrial Agents of Cultural Deconstruction"

 

My family and I were discussing the Mandela Effect at Sunday dinner. My daughter-in-law wasn't familiar with it, so we looked up some ME listicles. I have to confess that I remember the conventional versions of history with most of the popular examples, and a lot seemed kind of stupid to me ("Flinstones" without a T? Really?).

But I do remember KitKat with a hyphen, I do remember "Proctor & Gamble" and I absolutely do remember Ed McMahon doing commercials for Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes, not Slappy Dick's Publishing Doohickey or whatever the fuck fake company was embedded into the timeline.