The Oracle of Grangemouth by Kara Bohleman
Recently, an Onion knock-off called The Hard Times took aim at yours truly with a piece called, "We Figured Out What Cocteau Twins Were Saying but It’s Too Late, the Prophecy Is Already in Motion." The byline is apparently a fake name, but I'm guessing this guy heard me on Greg's show or another podcast on YouTube.
Or maybe he was dunking on that other guy running around ranting about the Cocteau Apocalypse.
I guess what passes for humor these days is just to take something someone else said nearly verbatim, and just replace a few facts with errors. Voila:
Oh no. Oh fuck. It’s really happening, isn’t it? The Cocteau Twins tried to warn us all along, but we were too foolish, and now it’s far too late. Ever since we translated their nonsense language into English, all of the insane bullshit that’s been happening lately finally makes sense. They tried to warn us and we didn’t listen. God, how could we be so blind?
It all seemed so innocent, those dreamy pop vocals and catchy hooks, we didn’t even question why they mostly sang in gibberish. How could we have known that ‘Cherry-coloured Funk’ was warning us against the geopolitical climate that led to 9/11? The whole thing was laid out step by step for us. They named Bin-Laden personally for Christ’s sake!
Yeah. Hilarious.
Laugh while you can, Chuckles.
One thing I've come to realize is that with the really big jobs that need to be done, the higher powers, whether you see them as gods, angels, aliens or whatever, choose you. They have their own criteria for hiring and don't really care what any of we meat-monkeys think about it. It's only later that we might see the logic of it, but probably not.
So if these powers want to choose a very troubled-but-adorable little punkette from some industrial hellscape on the Firth of Forth to be their apocalyptic oracle, there's really nothing anyone can do to stop them. You can try applying for the position -- God knows Lisa Gerrard has spent her entire life auditioning for the part -- but in the end they know who and what they're really looking for.
And if they decide to manipulate space and time to coincide with the career milestones of a pint-sized New Wave diva with a four-octave voice that can strip paint from the walls, well, suck it up, buttercup. We have no say in the matter. They have their reasons, and my guess is that they want you to take this all seriously. Very seriously.
The following is just part of what my Deep Divers and I have been up to since last December. This particular timeline matches significant dates in the Sibyl's career with... well, you'll see.
Now, at first you'll laugh, too. It's OK. It's ridiculous and absurd, on the face of it. Interactions with the higher powers usually are, as Jacques Vallee might tell you. But this thing is relentless, and doesn't mind one bit if you laugh at it. Because it just keeps coming and coming and coming and coming at you, and never stops. Ever.
This is so far past the point of synchronicity or some psy-op or even psi that it's not even a discussion.
You may not be ready to hear this, but the new Sibylline Age is upon us. And this wailing pixie turned semi-reclusive middle-aged housewife meets and exceeds every single, solitary ancient criteria for an oracle, to such an extent that it beggars belief.
Believe me, I checked.
Make of it what you will. But from me to you? I'd start thinking about what it all portends. Because for the past 20 years, this particular Sibyl has been consistently presented as a traditional Gaelic 'keening woman', if not in fact a banshee.
I mean 'banshee' as in 'ancient herald of death', not as in, "Siouxsie and the..."
That said, come enjoy my real-time Nic Cage in Knowing cosplay. While you still can.
March 28, 1981: The Cocteau Twins play their very first gig, opening up for Peter Capaldi (Doctor Who) and Craig Ferguson's (Drew Carey Show, Late Night) rather awful punk band, The Dreamboys. The band used to call Elizabeth Fraser "the Christmas Tree" because of her elaborate outfits.
March 28, 1981: John Hinckley Jr. arrives in Washington, DC in order to fulfill his plans to assassinate Ronald Reagan in order to win the love of Jodie Foster. He was inspired by the film Taxi Driver.
The syncs between Jodie Foster and Elizabeth Fraser are both voluminous and impossible.
April 12, 1981: First mention of Cocteau Twins in a national outlet hits the stands. In this case within an article on The Dream Boys.
Elizabeth Fraser, then 17 years old, is referred to as a "dumpy girl."
April 12, 1981: The third and final day of the historically-destructive Brixton Riots.
January 11, 1982: The first-ever airing of the Cocteau Twins comes when John Peel plays "Speak No Evil" on his BBC show.
January 11, 1982: That same day one of the worst cold snaps in British history began, as it would all over the northern hemisphere.
March 5, 1982: The Cocteau Twins play their first major show, supporting The Birthday Party at Richard Branson's club 'The Venue' three days after Philip K Dick dies.
June 21, 1982: Cocteau Twins record their first BBC session on the day Princess Diana gives birth to Prince William.
June 21, 1982: John Hinckley Jr declared not guilty because of insanity and sent to St. Elizabeth's Hospital, where he will send the next forty years as an inmate.
September 11, 1982: Cover date of first major press exposure the Cocteau Twins get.
September 11, 1982: Deadliest crash of twin-turbine helicopter takes place in Mannheim, Germany. 46 are killed.
This is a full metonic cycle before Twin Towers collapse.
October 1, 1982: Cocteau Twins release the insanely witchy Lullabies EP, whose sleeve depicts a photo of the poisonous Calla lily, while deaths from cyanide-laced bottles of Tylenol in Chicago shock the entire world and change how products are packaged forever.
Three of the Tylenol victims had the surname "Janus." Janus was formally known as Ianus Geminus or "Twin Janus."
There were two men and a 19 year old girl bearing the surname 'Janus' that died of cyanide poisoning.
As of October 1, 1982, the Cocteau Twins were comprised of two men and a 19 year-old girl.
On September 29, 1982, a "Tylenol scare" began when the first of seven individuals died in the Chicago metropolitan area after ingesting Extra Strength Tylenol that had been deliberately contaminated with cyanide.Bearing in mind the Calla lily, note that "Martin Calle" designed the tamper resistant Tylenol. John Peel premiered the Lullabies EP on September 29.
As a result of the crisis, all Tylenol capsules were discontinued, as were capsules of other brand names. Retained by McNeil's president, Joseph Chiesa, new product consultant Martin Calle of management strategist Calle & Company conceived the world's first tamper-resistant gelatin-enrobed capsule called "Tylenol Gelcaps"
April 4, 1983: Cocteau Twins release first single (they did the single/EP/LP pattern backwards) the same day the ill-fated Space Shuttle Challenger makes its maiden voyage.
B-side "Laughlines" has Elizabeth yelp the word "explosion" five times.
A-side first played by John Peel on March 16, same day Boeing 767 sets flight record for a Twin-engine jet.
September 6, 1983: Elizabeth and Robin's iconic version of "Song to the Siren" premieres on John Peel Show the same day Soviet Union admits shooting down Korean Air Lines Flight 007, causing major crisis between the superpowers.
November 7, 1983: Cocteau Twins release Sunburst and Snowblind the same day NATO troops launch Able Archer war-games, bringing world to the brink of nuclear war.
April 16, 1984: Cocteau Twins release "Pearly Dewdrops' Drop" same day more than one million people take to streets of Sao Paolo to protest military government.
May 12th, 1984: Cover date of New Musical Express issue with cassette compilation with "Millimillenary."
The next day?
One of the worst naval disasters in history at Russia's North Sea naval base.
The closest town to the base?
Elizabet.
The art for the cassette on which "Millimillenary" is first heard...
... incorporates Russian writing and graphics.
November 1, 1984: Cocteau Twins release Treasure LP, seven months after first Indian astronaut enters orbit, and same day deadly riots break out in India following the assassination of Indira Ghandi.
March 4, 1985: Cocteau Twins release Aikea Guinea same day as extremely powerful earthquake in Chile (late night of March 3 locally).
September 19, 1985: Cocteau Twins make first-ever US television appearance same day of historically-devastating earthquake in Mexico City.
November 23, 1985: John Peel debuts tracks from Echoes in a Shallow Bay on British Forces Broadcasting Service show.
Same day, EgyptAir Flight 648 is hijacked by the Abu Nidal group and flown to Malta, where Egyptian commandos storm the plane; 60 are killed by gunfire and explosions.
April 14, 1986: Cocteau Twins release Victorialand, named after Antarctic region. Same day that giant (up to two pounds) hailstones batter part of Bangladesh, killing nearly 100 people.
Also that day, US launches Operation El Dorado Canyon to bomb targets in Libya.
November 6, 1986: Cocteau Twins begin British tour in Portsmouth, same day as catastrophic helicopter crash in North Sea that kills 45 people.
The Twins premiere the new track, "Sea, Swallow Me."
This is the second deadliest crash involving a twin-turbine helicopter. The first was on 9/11/82, also a Cocteau Twin milestone date.
February 24, 1987: Supernova 1987A observed in the Large Magellanic Cloud in Dorado, exactly three years after "Pearly Dewdrops' Drop" premieres on Old Grey Whistle Test.
SN1987A as it appeared in 1999
Elizabeth chants "Ruby star, Dorade, Star, Dorade" in "Pearly Dewdrops' Drops," recorded in early 1984.
My arms are covered in goosebumps just typing this.
September 17, 1989: "Candleland," Elizabeth's duet with Echo and the Bunnymen singer Ian MacCulloch, released same day the historically-devastating Category 5 Hurricane Hugo makes landfall.
August 28, 1990: First Cocteau Twins single to get a US release 'Iceblink Luck' released, day before Elizabeth's 27th birthday.
August 28, 1990: The Plainfield Tornado (F5 on the Fujita scale) strikes the towns of Plainfield, Crest Hill, and Joliet, Illinois, killing 29 people.
It was the strongest tornado to strike the Chicago metropolitan area and strongest August tornado on record.
September 11, 1990: Orbital release "Omen," which samples Elizabeth singing "Song to the Siren," on the same day George HW Bush makes notorious "New World Order" speech.
November 4, 1991: Cocteau Twins release boxset that includes "High Monkey Monk," a track previously released on a Melody Maker compilation. Title is a play on 'high mucky-muck', a term connoting a boss, whose meaning is derived from the Chinook word for "a fat person who eats whale meat."
November 5th, 1991: Robert Maxwell's body is found floating in the Atlantic Ocean near the Canary Islands. Maxwell owned the Melody Maker at the time "High Monkey Monk" was originally released.
March 5, 1993: First film to feature a Cocteau Twins track -- Mad Dog and Glory -- released.
Same day Macedonian jetliner crashes shortly after takeoff, killing 83.
April 8, 1994: Cocteau Twins make their nationwide TV debut in the US on same day Kurt Cobain's body is found in Seattle.
They perform "Bluebeard," which takes its title from the fairy tale that ends with a woman having her husband murdered and inheriting his wealth.
Elizabeth is in the middle of her "distressed dolphin" phase, being inbetween psychological breakdowns. Don't ever envy someone chosen by the gods. It's a crappy job, always.
March 12/13, 1996: Cocteau Twins perform "Serpentskirt" and other songs from Milk and Kisses on a BBC broadcast. The song's title is a reference to Coatlicue, the Aztec goddess who is the patroness of the mothers of dead children, among other roles.
Just a few hours later a gunman perpetrates the Dunblane Primary School massacre in their home county of Stirling.
Hathor, goddess of love and music, greeted the newly-dead with milk and kisses.
July 18, 1996: Cocteau Twins make their last-ever live appearance at the Phoenix Festival on the same day (7/17 EST, 7/18 GMT) Paris-bound TWA 800 explodes in the air over Long Island, NY and crashes into the ocean, killing 230
They played their last US show at Lollapalooza 1996 on Randall's Island, NY, exactly a week before.
May 29, 1997: Elizabeth records "Teardrop" with Massive Attack in England.
May 29, 1997: Jeff Buckley, Elizabeth's former lover and whom "Teardrop" is about, drowns in Memphis.
May 29, 1997: John Hinckley Jr. turns 42 while housed at St. Elizabeth's Hospital.
May 29, 1997: John Hinckley Jr. turns 42 while housed at St. Elizabeth's Hospital.
April 20, 1998: Massive Attack's Mezzanine is released, featuring Elizabeth on several tracks.
Same day Air France Flight 422 crashes in Bogota, killing everyone aboard.
August 29, 2005: Cocteau Twins booked to play reunion show at Coachella, but Elizabeth backs out at last minute.
Hurricane Katrina makes landfall on her 42nd birthday, becomes one of the worst natural disasters in American history.
December 16, 2009: Elizabeth releases "Moses" single in US, a day before discovery of giant water planet in constellation in Ophiuchus announced. Ophiuchus is the serpent-bearer, as is Moses.
August 6, 2012: NASA Curiosity "lands on Mars." Elizabeth plays first of 2 shows at Meltdown Festival during London Olympics. Celebrity satanist Marina Abramovic also appears at Meltdown.
I thought "Charade" would be an appropriate track to mark the occasion, seeing we're talking about NASA.
September 29, 2013: While Elizabeth is appearing at a weeklong NYC residency with Massive Attack and Adam Curtis, Elon Musk launches Falcon 9 1.1 ("9/11"), first-ever commercial launch of a passenger capsule.
Elon Musk babymama (and Bene Frasserit high priestess) Grimes would later post a video of herself singing "My Sorrow is Luminous," which Elizabeth closed each of the Massive Attack vs Adam Curtis shows with.
January 28, 2016: The Nightmare World of HG Wells, British series scored by Elizabeth and husband Damon, premieres.
Same day WHO declares Zika to be an epidemic, in foreshadowing of COVID.
June 28, 2016: The Living and the Dead, second series in 2016 to feature new music by Elizabeth, premieres.
That same day ISIS attacks Atatürk Airport in Istanbul, Turkey, killing 45 people and injuring 230 others.
May 18, 2017: Chris Cornell-- whom Elizabeth shared a stage with on the 1996 Lollapalooza tour-- dies at MGM Grand Detroit, located at end of Elizabeth St.
We've gone over all this before but it still blows my mind, especially the 5:35=5/18/17
May 19, 2017: Tickets go on sale for Elizabeth and John Grant's Blue Bell Knoll presentation at Royal Albert Hall.
July 14, 2017: The #CarterTwins made their debut in an Instagram photo that has Beyoncisis standing under Garlands of flowers.
July 14 also the 35th anniversary of the Cocteau Twins' debut, Garlands.
July 20, 2017: Chester Bennington, who'd unsuccessfully lobbied Elizabeth to sing on a Linkin Park album, dies by hanging on Chris Cornell's birthday.
July 23, 2017: 66 days after Chris Cornell's death, Elizabeth and John Grant appear to sell-out crown in Elgar Room at Royal Albert Hall.
Grant is a Leo (7/25/68) and Elizabeth is a Virgo (8/29/63).
Same night, Jason Aldean appears in Twin Lakes, Wisconsin.
Late Summer 2017: Caribbean basin hammered by successive hurricanes. Worst is Harvey, which makes fifth and final landfall on Elizabeth's 54th birthday.
9/23/2017: Twin months after Leo John Grant and Virgo Elizabeth Fraser appear at Royal Albert Hall, the great alignment of Revelation 12 occurs in Leo and Virgo.
Revelation 12:1 A great sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet and a crown of twelve stars on her head. 2 She was pregnant and cried out in pain as she was about to give birth.
Elizabeth cries out as if in pain at precisely 2:39 in the official video for "Pearly Dewdrops' Drops," filmed at a former Christian chapel at Virginia Waters.
23/9 is European notation for September 23. Pearls and dewdrops both repeatedly identified with Heaven in the Bible.
September 17, 2017: Las Vegas shootings patsy Stephen ("Garlands") Paddock checks into a Las Vegas hotel, marking his very last trip to Sin City.
September 17, 2017 is the 27th anniversary of the release of Heaven or Las Vegas. Elizabeth was 27 at the time of its release.
October 1, 2017: Festival goers at MGM Village reportedly gunned down during Jason Aldean's set.
Stephen Paddock, an elderly arms dealer/money launderer in poor physical shape, named fall guy for shootings and is suicided by police.
Paddock said to work at manufacturer of faulty O-ring blamed for Challenger explosion. Challenger's maiden flight same exact day (4/4/83) as release of first Cocteau Twins single (whose B-side has Elizabeth wailing "explosion" five times).
Challenger's final flight takes place twin weeks after date of first official Cocteau Twins US release (The Pink Opaque).
Similarly-shaped constellation Scutum rose in the night sky the same night Elizabeth appeared with John Grant at Royal Albert.
This would have been the 31st birthday of Jeff Buckley, had he not drowned five months earlier beneath another giant glass pyramid in Memphis, TN.
Cocteau Twins played Las Vegas in 1990 at Aladdin Hotel/Casino, the same day Iraq released its British hostages in the run up to the Gulf War.
Aladdin is properly rendered Al-a-DEAN, pronounced similarly to Jason Aldean's surname.
The Aladdin Hotel and Casino opened in 1966 and was destroyed by controlled demolition in 1997, the same lifespan as Jeff Buckley's.
October 6, 2017: Blade Runner 2049 opens same week as Las Vegas shootings, takes place in post-apocalyptic Las Vegas.
• Cocteau Twins made their London debut the same week that Blade Runner creator Philip K Dick died.• They recorded their first BBC session the same week original Blade Runner opened.
October 10, 2017: Former Obama Chief of Staff John Podesta announces Tom Delonge's To the Stars Academy, a deep-state clearinghouse for fake UFO propaganda.
Key figures of TTSA PR campaign are Luis Elizondo and Navy Commander David "Sex" Fravor.
ELIZONDO DAVIDSEX FRAVOR --> ELIZABETH DAVIDSON FRASER
October 31, 2017: Grand Lodge of England holds extremely creepy 300th anniversary ceremony at Royal Albert Hall.
100 days after Elizabeth appeared at very same venue.
February 13, 2018: Alex Garland's highly Frasejacent and Lovecraftian SF film Annihilation premieres, the day before reported shooting event at Marjorie (Pearly) Stoneman Douglas HS in Parkland, FL.
Film climaxes with Natalie Portman battling her alien doppelgänger, or twin.
Exteriors for Annihilation filmed same exact location that exteriors for "Pearly Dewdrops' Drop" were filmed. Note that Elizabeth is essentially overlapping the location of Annihilation's alien entity known as 'the Shimmer' here.
"Shimmer" very, very often used to describe Cocteau Twins music.
May 29, 2018: Annihilation DVD released 21st anniversary of Jeff Buckley's death.
September 3, 2018: Elizabeth appears for invitation-only crowd at Blacks' Club in Soho, singing short set of traditional folk songs.
September 3, 2018: Massive dolphin superpod appears off coast of Monterey, CA, a city immortalized by Tim Buckley on same side of Starsailor as "Song to the Siren."
September 3, 2018: Highly-destructive Typhoon Jebi makes landfall in Japan, near Cocteau Twin guitarist Mitsuo Tate's hometown.
September 3, 2018: Tropical Storm Gordon forms.
Gordon Sharp of Cindytalk is only singer besides Elizabeth to appear on a Cocteau Twins recording.
September 3, 2018: KPop star Sunmi releases music video for "Siren," in which she appears as her Twin.
Sirens were once believed to cause storms, especially storms at sea.
Sunmi also emerges from giant clamshell, as Elizabeth did in "Bluebeard" video.
September 4, 2018: Hearings over accusations that Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanagh sexually assaulted a girl at high school party open.
Hearings focus on July 1982, same month Garlands released. Democrats believed the open seat should have gone to Merrick Garland.
Hearings focus on a "Dr Strawberry" and a "Dr. Crowley."
Hearings focus on a "Dr Strawberry" and a "Dr. Crowley."
The latter song led to Blink being forced to add 182 to their name because of a lawsuit from a band who took their name from it.
September 6, 2018: British actress Liz Fraser and Burt Reynolds die. Reynolds' first lead role is on Mississippi River-themed Western Riverboat, playing Ben Frazer.
Elizabeth sang "Oh Shenandoah" three days earlier, a song very closely associated with Mississippi riverboats.
September 2018: "Strawberry Crisis" breaks out in Queensland, Australia.
September 29, 2018: Cosmic rays detected emerging from ice off coast of Victoria Land.
.
December 2018: William Little accuses Kevin Spacey of sexual assault in bar on Nantucket Island, setting off chain of events leading to his ouster from House of Cards.
January 28, 2019: Elizabeth performs with Massive Attack on first night of Mezzanine XXI tour. Earlier that day, Cold War II officially begins when US Justice Dept. accuses Chinese tech giant Huawei of fraud.
March 03, 2019: SpaceX Dragon launches and docks with ISS, in blatant ritual replay of Revelation 12. That evening, Massive Attack finish first leg of Mezzanine XXI tour in Elizabeth and band's hometown.
September 1, 2019: Massive Attack begin US tour in San Diego, the same night Hurricane Dorian--the most powerful Atlantic cyclone ever recorded-- makes landfall in Bahamas.
September 2, 2019: 33 people are killed following a fire and subsequent sinking of a dive boat near Santa Cruz Island, California, United States. It is the worst maritime disaster in California in more than 150 years.
September 6, 2019: Chandrayaan-2, India's second lunar probe crashes into the surface of the moon, allegedly.
September 11, 2019: Astronomers announce the detection of water in the atmosphere of exoplanet K2-18b, the first such discovery for an exoplanet in the habitable zone around a star. Massive Attack plays Chicago that night.
K2-18b is on border of Leo and Virgo, bringing us back to the 9/23/17 alignment.
September 14, 2019: Twin Saudi Aramco oil refineries in Abqaiq and Khurais, Saudi Arabia are destroyed by Houthi militants in "massive attacks." Oil exports are disrupted by five million barrels a day, close to half of Saudi Arabian oil exports.
September 14, 2019: That same night Elizabeth keens "Where Have All the Flowers Gone" with Massive Attack in front of video of an identical event to Saudi attack, as she'd done every show since January.
September 21, 2019: U.S. President Donald Trump approves deployment of several hundred troops and military equipment to Saudi Arabia and United Arab Emirates, ultimately leading to massive civilian casualties in Yemen. Elizabeth laments "Where Have All the Flowers Gone" in Boston that night.
September 24, 2019: US House Speaker Nancy Pelosi announces impeachment inquiry. Elizabeth performs with Massive Attack in Washington, DC that same night.
September 21, 2019: U.S. President Donald Trump approves deployment of several hundred troops and military equipment to Saudi Arabia and United Arab Emirates, ultimately leading to massive civilian casualties in Yemen. Elizabeth laments "Where Have All the Flowers Gone" in Boston that night.
September 24, 2019: US House Speaker Nancy Pelosi announces impeachment inquiry. Elizabeth performs with Massive Attack in Washington, DC that same night.
October 18, 2019: Gates Foundation holds Event 201, laying out plans for COVID19 agenda. Hotel where held just a few blocks away from where Elizabeth performed with Massive Attack six years earlier.
Kate Spade NY, a block away, recently hired a woman named Liz Fraser as new CEO. Kate Spade died same way Chris Cornell and Chester Bennington had.
January 31, 2020: British folk singer Sam Lee releases album including duet with Elizabeth. United Kingdom completes "Brexit" that same day, declaring independence from European Union.
March 20, 2020: Cocteau Twins re-release debut Garlands same week that coronavirus hysteria reaches critical mass, resulting in shutdown of world economy.
First verse of first song: "Blood woman/Blood bitch/There's a corona, a corona swelling."
Note "Tyrell" is the name of replicant manufacturer in Blade Runner.
Note "Tyrell" is the name of replicant manufacturer in Blade Runner.
April 25, 2020: Elizabeth mourns for us all in Seattle-based Minecraft "virtual festival." Exactly a month later, George Floyd dies in police custody in Twin City.
Event is captured on video by a woman named Darnella Frazier.
According to her older sister, Elizabeth is called "Ella" by her family.
Late May 2020-Present: Violent rioting breaks out in Seattle, leading to anarchist occupation.
August 14, 2020: Jonsi (of Sigur Ros) releases "Cannibal," with a reproachful Sibyl on background vocals.
Twin Hurricanes Marco and Laura ("Garlands") pound the Gold Coast.
Major weather events pound the Twin Cities.
Globalist paramilitary gangs attack Kenosha, Wisconsin.
Chris Cornell statue defaced in Seattle.
Midsummer Fires are not quite so frou-frou-frou in Western US.
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